Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been on SSDI for over 6 years now, I used to work as a very successful nurse and mother. I'm feeling badly because I don't see much of a future for myself....and for my now 16yo son either. In my world parents help out their kids, help them get a head start in life maybe by helping pay half for a car, hopefully matching what the child has already saved on his own by working hard at a first job, slipping them a few extra bucks here and there when the money gets tight for them. I won't be able to do those things...his father never pays any child support so I have nothing to save....when he turns 18 I will lose the SSDI that I receive for him making my income totally ridiculous and putting me in an even lower income bracket than I am now.
I was raised by a very independent mom, to be very independent, to work hard, do a good job, be good to others, did I mention work hard?? Well, here I am depending on the government...living check to check each month and praying everyday that nothing huge happens that will take a boat load of money to fix...the car, the furnace, the A/C. I was always told be able to support myself financially, and I cannot.
I feel like a total loser, like I have let my kids down in a huge way and made their lives 10 times harder than need be. I want the best for them....I was on my way to becoming a Registered Nurse...I had plans for my future, big plans, I had money when I needed it, and I am so pissed that I let the doctors and anyone else who told me I was sick and listened to them, but I know being pissed won't get me anywhere.....sigh
Sorry this is so long...have alot on my mind right now and I needed to get some of it out because it's eating at me pretty bad......thanks for reading.
Deb
I was raised by a very independent mom, to be very independent, to work hard, do a good job, be good to others, did I mention work hard?? Well, here I am depending on the government...living check to check each month and praying everyday that nothing huge happens that will take a boat load of money to fix...the car, the furnace, the A/C. I was always told be able to support myself financially, and I cannot.
I feel like a total loser, like I have let my kids down in a huge way and made their lives 10 times harder than need be. I want the best for them....I was on my way to becoming a Registered Nurse...I had plans for my future, big plans, I had money when I needed it, and I am so pissed that I let the doctors and anyone else who told me I was sick and listened to them, but I know being pissed won't get me anywhere.....sigh
Sorry this is so long...have alot on my mind right now and I needed to get some of it out because it's eating at me pretty bad......thanks for reading.
Deb
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I'm sorry you're feeling so low.
I know you want to provide a leg up for your children as they set out to conquer the world. Your "leg up" will be incredibly valuable life lessons about making ends meet on a tight budget, realizing that $$$ isn't everything and certainly doesn't define your love for them.
I know plenty of folks who can afford to buy their kids cars, pay their way through school and provide every other want or need but elect not to because it is very character-building for a child to do it on their own.
Maybe try to focus on how you can be the very best mom you can with the cards you've been dealt. I'm sending a little sunshine for your soul.
i'm sorry you're dealing with these feelings...glad you came here to vent.
keep doing it, so will it....hopefully this will help us to feel better! xo :)
There are people who work in goverment positions who have BP.
U might maybe opt to take class's on line.
Most jobs: 1st shift is the busys - hectic. 2nd shift is not as bad.3rd shift is not bad - except 3 to 2 hrs before shift ends.
Some Dr's offc work wise,are somewhat at slow pace.
I have friends & family members who are RN's. they work 2 up to 3 dys wk. w full time pay n benifits.
I assume that your son recieves SSDI,for him self. he could save a % of his mthly income from SSDI to get & do the things that he wants.
He can also apply for food assistance for him self.
When my baby son was 16, he was a beach life guard.My other son, at age 17, he was manager of seafood rest. They saved to have things n to eat out w their friends - stuff like that.
an finacial opt to sub income. turn dinning rm into bd rm & rent it out by the wk or mo to mo bases. or go onto housing assistance.
I lease out my 2.5 car garage. the guy runs a business out of it & keeps supply's in it.
prescripitionsavingscard.com
low income health care. federally funded.
http://findaahealthcarecenter.hrsa.gov
uility bill assistance program ( by state)
http://www.uti;itybillassistance.com
LTHEAP.org ( I think that they assist w things like heat/ac systems,hotwater tank, windows/doors...)
To get tax deduction - reduction.
Provide Treasurers offc.,proof of disability income.
Free goverment cell phones.
www.freegovermentcellphone
of coures obama will take credit for these services. service that were in place long before he took offc.
obama so called health care is Tax bill for/raise/gain more tax's.
the medical care benifits system is already broke.Now he wants those who will no longer be able to have private insurance & business who will cut out insurance benifits. these people will go onto already bankrupt obama so called health care benifit plan -lol.
Hang on. things do get better.
as for your son....hmmm....i grew up in a very wealthy home, always indoor pools and hottubs and crap, but i had a mother that didn't love me.
believe me deb, i would have traded it ALL for that. in a second.
in my mind, that is the ONLY THING that truly matters.
so, reading how much you love your son and how concerned and worried you are about him, i can safely conclude, in my eyes, your son is VERY rich indeed. and very blessed.
I worked with kids of all ages for 7 years. I found they wanted their parent's time more so than they wanted their parent's money.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a wonderful person with a lot to offer your family.
We do the best we can with what we've got..
We live in a culture that seems to place 'stuff' above everything else and I believe we're wrong..
I used to be very comfortable as well.. I didn't want for anything and then I basically lost 'everything' I had and I have no way to get bayck the 'stuff' or easy way financially..
There's been times it's been rough.. at the same time though it's been a huge eye opener and life lesson for me and I don't think I would trade it..
I do miss a car for getting around all the rest doesn't matter anymore at all..
Stuff is something your son can get once he's out working... A good relationship with his family and values, building character I believe is the best and most precious gift you can give him...xoxo
I have to keep believing that things will work out.....
I've been keeping my eyes peeled for a part time job somewhere in this little town I live in....furthering my education at this point isn't an option for me because I cannot handle the stress that taking a class causes me...tried that already and wasn't good for me.
Will is going to go around with me and my handy crafted items to see if I can set some items up for sale in 2 small shops in town. Right now I am in need of a rack type thing though to set my stuff out on in the shops, they don't supply that sort of thing. To bad it wasn't Spring clean up because I would probably be able to find something to use that someone had set out for trash.....I love upcyling and turning trash to treasure, makes me feel good!
I hope that you all enjoy the day and find much peace and smiles.
Thanks again, you all moved me very much and I needed a little nudge here...:-)
I think Mojo is right on..xo
So instead of looking at what you don't have you want - let me point out what you don't have, that you don't want! LOL You don't have an evil kid, your not an evil mom, you do have income (whether enough or not, some people Don't) You Want the best for your child, and he KNOWs that....
Sorry your feeling bad! But in true Gina style - please, look at it different...
That you and I - wish we lived up to our "capabilities" and worked hard, money and a full life - we are not dead or crippled, we DID work - my heart breaks for people that have NEVER tried to function in society - at least we KNOW what we're missing! LOL
If you wanted, enjoyed or accepted being a loser - (what WE call ourselves in the dark thoughts) if you had no loss, no dreams - I don't think I'd like you....... : )
I hate being bp to begin with, then the meds that make me feel like a zombie, all the dreams I had of having a normal life seem so far away. I have a toddler too, she doesn't know anything about money so if I can just give her lots of hugs, kisses, smiles and love I'm pretty sure she will be ok.
However I know the first step in dealing with my life is getting over the damn stigmas and feeling like I'm limited by them, oh dear I think I just made this about me. I'm sorry I'm having to take Klonopin because I'm in between an effective cocktail atm.
It will be ok, we may not ever be a neuroscientist but we can still be people that are proud of ourselves and have family that are proud of us too. Have you talked with your kids and asked them how they feel about it? Sometimes I project a lot of shit and imagine that people are thinking the worst. (hugs) one day at a time.
I hate being bp to begin with, then the meds that make me feel like a zombie, all the dreams I had of having a normal life seem so far away. I have a toddler too, she doesn't know anything about money so if I can just give her lots of hugs, kisses, smiles and love I'm pretty sure she will be ok.
However I know the first step in dealing with my life is getting over the damn stigmas and feeling like I'm limited by them, oh dear I think I just made this about me. I'm sorry I'm having to take Klonopin because I'm in between an effective cocktail atm.
It will be ok, we may not ever be a neuroscientist but we can still be people that are proud of ourselves and have family that are proud of us too. Have you talked with your kids and asked them how they feel about it? Sometimes I project a lot of shit and imagine that people are thinking the worst. (hugs) one day at a time.