Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I just finished reaming my 13yo son out. I feel like a piece of shit, I don't know how to communicate to him, I feel like I do more damage than good with my kids, I'm overwhelmed, I have nobody to call, couldn't get my Abilify script filled, been trying to stay busy doing work around the house, but the more I do the more pissed off I am getting because, I've taken 2mg of klonopin and feel no better. I soooo don't want to be here, I am so tired of thinking, but the thoughts keep coming. And NONE of them are good!! I don't think I am supposed to be here...I really don't. I don't want to be here, this life is not working for me!!
Maybe a different approach is needed with your son?
Try to talk to him calmly if he has done something wrong, ask him why he did it, perhaps ask him what type of punishment he would find reasonable?
As for the rest of life. Im with you there, It just doesnt seem to work does it? Hang in there!
Teens are very difficult to handle too. Keep that in mind. They do wish to be treated as adults, although they aren't even close to being adults. It's difficult to see eye-to-eye during many of the teen years, at times.
When I think about how I am not meant for this world and wonder why I am even here and what my purpose is, I look at my 2 daughters and know, at least for now, my job is to be here for THEM. They keep me going, force me to keep going... even if its kicking and screaming all the way. At least for another day, another week, another month. I know I need more reasons for being alive, so I'm told, but for now this is the best I can do.
We're here for you!
I get so upset though because I feel like my boys would be better off without me. I'm trying like hell to get stable. Working on getting the meds right. I get attitude when I ask for their help around the house, annoyed because they'll do a quick and shitty job, I call them on it and I get grief from them. I get tired of talking/yelling and repeating myself. I get so pissed I want to jack them up against the wall and punch them in the head!! It makes me feel awful but I feel it.
As an outsider looking into your life, I truly see your value and strength. You are going through so much, but you are doing it!
You are your children's mom. You are there for them. You may be having thoughts, but you are on DS seeking support/sharing so you can continue to go on. I think that makes you a pretty awesome mom and person.
My life isn't working for me at the moment either, but we are both still here. We are each of value and have children.
Children are so awesome even when they turn 13 and start going through so many changes. I have a 13yo too.
They develop a life that is frustrating with ups and downs just like us. The teens years are difficult. Teens want to be adults and kids at the same time. Actually that kind of sounds like me on a bad day. Maybe we can understand our kids better than we had thought.
The important thing is you were there for your son. I'm sure he did something that needed to be straightened out. We as parents sometimes doubt our methods, but that is because we love them so much. It sounds to me your kids are very lucky to have you.
Big hugs to you dear,
Tamara
And trust me they will not be better off without you,,They need to learn responsibility and that's why they need to help around the house and do a good job! and it is your job to teach them that responsibility. So you are not pathetic.
But teens will be teens. Just hang in there. And make sure they know you love them. My parents used to yell at me all the time, but I knew that they loved me even though at times it appeared as though i hated them but I eventually grew to appreciate all that they did.
tats69: If not now, your kids WILL appreciate all you have done and that you did your best to raise responsible, thoughtful adults. (That's what I tell myself anyway :)).
Thanks for the hugs.
I was there for him but I wasn't very nice. I had enough of his bs and excuses and told him that he had to toughen up and stop acting like a wimp. That was so mean. I did tell him that I didn't mean it to make him feel bad, but that he really needed to toughen up.
We were at Lowes and I motioned to him to start putting the damn items up for the cashier to ring up and her wouldn't do it. He wasn't being mean about not doing, it was more out of feeling self-conscious. It set me off. I see this in him and blame myself and lose it. Like that is going to help anything.
And yes, it does appear as if they hate me at times. I need to learn not to take it too personally. The pdoc just told me to shut down my radar more often, is too sensitive. It is good to hear from you SC, I have a 19yo too!
My parents had me when they were older (36) and after having 3 kids before me, they did not have that much patience for me...They used to lose patience with me, for no reason sometimes! But guess what? It happens and my parents and I are closer than ever now.
And one last thing, if you feel that you were mean or you hurt him, talk to him, explain the reason it set you off when you are calmer. BIG hug to you...and you really do seem like a wonderful mom..especially since you want the best for them and show them your love.
I saw some great advice here about talking to your son. I hope that you were able to do that. **HUGS**