For me right now, since I was just put on meds, it's the fear of getting pregnant or gaining weight. Maybe the second fear is shallow, but oh well.

I have functioned well for 34 years before I "snapped" I plan to function well for many more, when we get these meds balanced.

Never fear...ok always fear. I have been mostly normal and raised a family and still support my wife. All goes to shit sometimes but i havent killed anyone, the Halucinations havent sent me into oncoming traffic but the always scare the hell out of me. This is a tough life but you can get through and do things that you like and make you happy

I wonder about the same things you do as well. I'm concerned about my ability to take care of my family.

try not to fear too much.
There are no perfect people. (here's a secret--even the ones that think they are perfect, are far from it)
I'm sure you will have a happy fulfilled life. :-)

I understand the gaining weight I was like that when I got on my meds to..
I try to do what I want even if its shopping in a big scary mall with alots of people :P

My biggest fear is that I will cause pain to the people that love me. The biggest fear is that I may succeed at committing siucide and leave everyone behind with the pain. I can't think straight during an episode. I would never physically harm anyone, the person at most risk is myself.

Dear meme88,
I had the weight gain then the doc took me off depakote and put me on abilify I've lost 40lbs.
Dont worry there is someone to love for everyone. A good spouse can be a wonderful asset with bp, help see mood changes, helping with fidelity, managing money.
My biggest fear is passing it down to my son so I'm going to do everything I can to prepare him for the worst.

My thherapist says that you get worse as you get older but you learn to cope wwith iit better. And many of us would like to be married Im sure just got to find the right guy :)

I worry about this, especially since I'm already getting SSDI benefits. I worked as long as I could, then flipped out.

Next semester, I'm going to give college another try, and will be getting help through a program called Vocational Rehabilitation which aids those with a disorder...helps them go to school. I will have to take 15 credit hours, which is one class more than full time. I so much worry that I'm going to get sicker and fail. I feel like if I can't make it work this time, all hope will be lost. I really want to finish college with either a degree in psychology or human services. I want to go all the way so that I can be a therapist. Ughhh so much to overcome first, though!

My fear is sitting in a chair in a hosp. drooling and not knowing what is going on around me.

Hell Nutz... I fantasize about that! Shut off this fucking brain!

I wouldnt never want that I would rather feel pain then nothing... my aunt was like that complete zombie it was so hard to watch

Hold tight and steer straight. Your world will fall back in line behind you... just gotta hold on an steer straight.

if it worked like that ya but its not aways that way

You are young.. hold on tight and keep steering. I have lived with this for 30 years. Been a maniac some times and caused alot of damage but kept on the right path that i new was there. It is the only way to keep going ahead.. otherwise you just keep going in circles and being controlled by what has just happened. Good luck!