i have an aunt that is an in your face type and the other finds ways to take jabs at me. My mom just acts like I should ignore it. It is hard to I mean one told me one time I probably deserved to be kicked in the back by my ex husband and that if I had kids I would end up in the looney bin (now I can’t have children so it hurt deep) and the other is just so hateful to me sometime and tries to start stuff. Oh and if I get upset I’m the one accused of being crazy. I know this will offend some but women have been a pain in my ass my whole life!!! I am a female and then my husband is just like please just ignore them and try not to sit near them. Well hello I have a huge family and sometime finding a seat is hard especially when their is already limited seating. I have so much animosity toward my mom and he sisters and if they were to speak to me and I didn’t say hello then it would be I am being a jerk. I am 36 years old I think I can choose who I can speak too but no I’m expected to be like everyone else wants me to be. One of my aunts tried to frame me to look like her ex husband had messed with me!!! I was 14 and she wanted a divorce and it was going to be her third so she wanted to make sure he looked bad. I have been pushed around and have been a scapegoat all my life. I used to be so free spirited and independent and then my husband came along and now I have to act how he wants me to. It makes me feel so powerless and if I don’t do and act how he says to act it is hell to pay. I’m sorry but the holidays are coming up and my family is a pain in the ass and of course my husband says I have to go and I feel like a damn child. I have never felt more powerless in my life than how I’ve felt in the past 16 years. I feel like my identity has been stolen and all my aunts could say when it comes to him is I needed someone who was gonna be dominant because I am out of control. I have no clue what they meant. I got employee of the month more than a handful of times when I worked and my teachers and professors thought I was a great student and I got National Honor Society and I’ve always or was always on my best behavior until my first full blown manic episode. I mean yeah I wasn’t an angel before that I partied like any teen, actually didn’t have sex, and I smoked and drank some but I was a good kid. I was a band nerd and I loved to sing and do photography and paint and I lived a full life except women trying to make it hell but when I became ill it got worse. Much worse for me because I didn’t feel like defending myself anymore I didn’t feel like a human anymore and my husband has done a good job at that. As long as I am compliant with him and do as he says things are fine but I am not my own person anymore. Not dependent or free spirited anymore. I serve no purpose anymore. I don’t even know who I am anymore. He can be so nice but so mean and yes he is really the only man who has made my life all on earth. Controlling motherfucker!!! Oh my ex husband kicking me in the back wasn’t okay but he wasn’t actually psychologically abusive like this one. Yes I live my husband and I am terrified he may be very ill and no telling what his diagnosis will be but god I just feel so confused.