Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I feel like my life is falling apart all around me. I am barely staying afloat. I don't know why I am so self-destructive. I just want to curl up in bed and sleep. I need to just get out of here but I have no where to go.
Telling yourself 'my life is falling apart' just exacerbates things..doesn't help in the least.
Or..just distract yourself for now, if you can?
just know that we're all here for you and love you and your not alone......
the things i would check are:
talk to pdoc and see if the meds need tweaking
take a long walk and just try to clear your mind of everything, just try, if you can to hear the sound of your feet, or soles of your shoes hitting the dirt or the pavement, smell the fresh air, and any scent of flowers lingering., or the smelll of food cooking in the kitchens...touch some trees, some leaves, pick a flower, hear the sound of the birds, and the sound of the leaves being carressed by the wind,,,see the sunset, or the children playing...just try to totally emerge yourself in that...or you could even just listen to your breaths, just pay attention to your breaths...
3. get some real good rest..if you can..this is so important,,,,i always say, what a difference a few hours of deep sleep make....(hopefully you can get some rest, and if your having trouble, talk to pdoc also, but one of my friends swears by valerian root to get some rest..and she has taken it while on other meds, you may want to ask pharmacist first.)
4. write, write, write,,,just keep writing and let your feelings just pour out of you
5. if you can, just have a good cry,,,just cry your heart out....just alllow yourself to feel , to feel the pain..to feel what your feelings and just allow yourself to let your tears flow, and just have a healing cry...(you know how you always feel better after a real good cry....it releases natural feel good endorphin's...)
6. make yourself a real healthy meal...especially if you cook it yourself..a good meal can help ground us..and kind of bring us back to the earth...and away from that feeling of wanting to run away.
7. oh, and this helps me alot...is come on here and try to find some posts where everyone is fooling around adn being real funny.....this often helps me when i feel mysself going down....just read some funny threads...and i knowyouanfind them cuz there usually is one or 2 each day, so you can lyao....or just watch a very funny movie that you know will make you belly laugh.........like crying, there is so much healing in laughter....i think sometimes it is even more powerful sometimes..cuz it come's from the spirit.....that is forever freee and unimprisoned by the ego that lives in our minds...
8. try to be as positive as you can...every timeyou start talking negatively to yourself,just replace it as soon as the thought comes with a counteractive positive thought..i've been working on doing this lately ali , and it really is helping me, you know how powerful our minds are...and there's been so many posts about this...really helpful
hmmm
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trying to think if there is anything else
oh yah,
if you can...spend some time with small children...this always helps kind of ground me and go back to the simple things....it helps so much ali...
i don't know where you are right now, are you home and home from college....is it becasue your home that you feel like this, or is it your mood and or a combo of both? anyway...i hope you feel better sooon ali...i will keep you in my prayres...if you ever need a friend or someone just to talk to ......message me anytime...love, maggie
helps some people..I haven't tried it, I fess but have heard about people who've got something from it as far as curbing self destructiveness/impulsiveness etc..ie/ self harm?
Likely your life is not actually falling apart. Some bad things might be happening, but that's normal life. But you're in a depressive state, so you feel cataclysmic inside. Your mind likes to come up with good reasons for why you feel so bad.
Try to let go of the stories; the things you are telling yourself in your head about how things are going wrong and falling apart.
Focus on the bodily sensation of the emotional pain. Emotion is non-verbal; it's a sensation. I tend to feel it as a writhing in my guts, a pain in my stomach, a hollowness in my chest, tingling in my skin, etc.
Sit with this sensation for a while and each time you catch your mind starting to tell you stories about why you're feeling this just move your attention back to the visceral sensation of pain.
It will hurt a lot, but it will get you in touch with what is really happening and help you get out of the self-perpetuating storyline that feeds the pain and keeps it going and growing.
Sometimes this will put perspective back into the hyperbolic state we reach when we make statements like "everything is falling apart" and we see our pain is just a sensation that is occurring. We are not the pain, it's something that is passing through our attention--it just seems very big and consuming because we identify with it and think it is our whole life.
When that doesn't work I try a different route. Accept that it's quite possible that everything really IS falling apart. Everything is falling apart and there's nothing to do about it. I'm doomed. This will really hurt, but once it's actually been accepted I find myself in this vast peace, like walking into the eye of the storm. There's nothing good, but it doesn't matter anymore; I still just feel completely at peace. Relieved at letting go of fighting the pain.
It's the fighting that really perpetuates it.
Another method I use more frequently is to go out and do something; take a walk, go to the bar or something and meet some random people. The more random the better because total novelty of situation takes you out of your conditioned way of thinking because you're in the moment trying to keep up with this new situation.
Those are a couple things I do when it seems like everything is shattering around me and sleep won't help. I don't know if it will work for anybody else though.
If you have allot to chew on, maybe just take a little bite. You can feel overwhelmed and oversleeping is a form of self-medication that helps you escape all your problems. Been there! I am pulling for you.