Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Failing at life

grenadine
grenadine
That's me. Failing at life. How do you do it?

I have so many problems and pressures and tons of things to do and overcome.... it's all very overwhelming!

Everyday I just ignore it... I ignore all the chaos that I went through in the past 4 ish months and I eat. I eat every second I can. I also exercise everyday.

I probably don't seem depressed... but I feel like crap about myself because a bad man told me terrible things about myself and I'm really letting it get to me and I'm lucky if I can wash my acne face once a day and do... SOMETHING about the terrible mess I'm in...

I know if this continues any further I'm going to get suicidal again. I thought about killing myself tonight... or just letting myself go so completely that I'll just naturally die or become a real mess....

All summer I openly hated myself, openly wanted to die everyday because I couldn't handle being alive... put myself in harms way and got physically and emotionally hurt a lot.

I just want to say fuck my life and I'm done living this stupid piece of shit life.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Great big hug for you gren.... Depression can sure make us feel hopeless at times..
That's such a difficult symptom to bear....If you feel yourself getting worse then you probably need to get some medical intervention in order to stabilize again..
It sounds like you try hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other.... Good for you!!
There is stability to be had sweetie... Sometimes we need some help to get there...x
irishwriter
irishwriter
you cannot fail. every day you wake up you have succeeded in waking up. You get up and one thing you have succeeded in doing that. \you are not catatonic. You are not a failure. You are dealing with an abnormal problem in a normal way. You have a serious illness. Allow yourself to deal with it in whatever way works for you. Talk to your pdoc about a treatment plan. Post here as aoften as you can and let us know how you are doing. just wash one cup at a time. BABY STEPS. big hugs.
grenadine
grenadine
Thank you all very much. I'm often at a loss for words because... I'm just so confused and overwhelmed. I woke up from two night terrors in the night as usual, and now that I'm up I just want to hide all day.

There was a nice man yesterday who offered to be my boyfriend. He said he would do his best to be there for me and to make me happy. How sweet is that? If only it were that easy that someone could hold me and love me and I'd be alright ... I'd be happy. So simple... yet I'm just ... in no condition to be charming and willing... I'm a wreck!

Ok I go hide under my covers now...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel I am failing too. No job, noone called me back for an interview. I hate getting my hopes up for nothing. I guess I will goto sleep now....bleh
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