What I really heard was, "I hate myself." I feel sad. I know the desperation you feel so I won't tell you it will get better. I won't tell you this will pass and your acne will go away. But, I WANT to tell you that. Hang in. I'm with ya!

Also, what other head drugs have you tried?

Oh, I just read your bio and all the meds you've tried. Damn it! I was disappointed the Abilify didn't work. Also disappointed the wellbutrin didn't work. I take a cocktail of Wellbutrin, Zoloft and Abilify. I also have had an eating disorder in the past and it still rears it's ugly head when I'm stressed. Or when I'm menstrual. But, I've struggled with bulimia, and it's the binging that is the hard part. The cravings.

I have been seeing a dermatologist who has put me on every medication known to man for this. She actually used the words,"bless your heart," which is southern speak for "i feel sorry for you, not sure what can be done with you." Nothing has worked. Internal meds, topicals...Hundreds of dollars spent. The only thing left is Accutane, and I don't think my Pdoc will let me take it because it can cause suicidal depression as one of its side effects. I told her that the acne is causing suicidal depression. After the acne goes away, if it ever does, the laser treatments will leave me with painful, crusty, red skin, that I will have to go to work with. I can't live with it. I can't.

I have been bingeing and purging like a mad woman lately. All of my feelings about my physical self are low low low. I am using the purging to make me feel better, to get the "high." I am having a hard time trying to get my head out of wanting to diet, because I feel like that is the only thing I can control. Everything is out of control. My skin, my brain, my emotions, my body. I just don't know what to do. I am at the end of my rope.

I AGREE FUCK LAMICTAL AND AYNY OTHER STDUIipd MOOD STABLIKZERS TOO!

I take Lamictal...200mgs...Zoloft 200mgs...and Abilify 10mgs...I don't know what the Lamictal even does....stabilizes my mood???
yeah right

Honestly I have never heard of this side effect before you mentioned it.. were you on any other meds as well? Have you seen a dermatologist? I had a friend who had it - hers was spontaneous because she moved to a place with a different climate.. just different states actually... she uses accutane which her dermatologist prescribes and it works very well.

I am so sorry for you, I am much older then you and getting brown spots on my face so I can kind of relate to you but I bet you are younger and this must really really hurt.

If you did do the treatment withthe red crackly skin what happens afterwards does it come off and tyou skin comes back to normal? If so could you tak sick leave during the time?

Right now can your doctor prescribe you some klonopin so you dont get too overly wrought. When I see something really bad happening to my self I get overwhelmed and think terrible thoughts. Right now I am getting bumps on one side of my face and they are not pimples. Oh well this is about you not me. I'll put you on my prayer list.

I noticed that you said, .....the acne is all anyone will ever see. I think perhaps, it is more accurate to say, .....the acne is all YOU will ever see? I've met and seen several people I really admired, who had rather severe distortions to their appearance. I think they are all the more admirable, when they don't allow that appearance to get in their way......((( hugs )))

Thank you for your responses. They were so nice to see as I got home from work today.
My doctor has let me taper down a bit on the Lamictal, due to this disturbing side effect. It is a real and known one, although not as common. I have been researching it online, as there are studies being done now on it. My doctor has seen it in one other patient.
The really sucky thing is that Lamictal is working for my moods. In a way that nothing else has.
For a while now, I have had to weigh the pros and cons, whether I want a stable mood or severe scars and acne. I have chosen mood until now. I just can't do it anymore though. My face is purple, scarred, bleeding, etc. Beyond anything I ever imagined of dealing with.
The laser treatment that I hope to be able to get (for about 2500.00 dollars per treatment) once the acne hopefully calms down, will leave it all red, crusty, icky for a couple weeks. Then possibly red for another year or so. I think it burns off the top layer of your skin. I most likely won't be able to take much time off of work for it, but I would bear it all if it meant the scars would get better. I don't leave the house. I used to get away without wearing makeup, and I don't even walk around my house without that on anymore. Too embarrassed to let my roommates see me.
I am going to beg my dermatologist for Accutane. And, possibly ask my pdoc for klonopin.
Thanks again for your responses. I really really appreciate them.