By the way, I am only in my 30's and still have to endure probably another 40-50 years of unhappiness if things go normally. Yay for me.

Hi being... Big hug for you.... I'm so sorry you're struggling right now... If you can sweetie try to reign yourself in to the now as much as you can..
You're catastrophizing... When you lump years of life together in one big melting pot it's completely overwhelming and when in a depression it's a mountain of sadness and despair... It's hard to remember the good days within

I find these are good times for baby steps... What do you have to be grateful for today... I'm grateful that I have a warm home and am sitting drinking a hot cup of coffee with my wee pooch and meeting someone new on DS
Things are there but can sometimes get lost in the darkness

Therapy can help a lot with this... Depression often feels as though we've been there forever and will never escape it ... That's not the truth though Being.. That's the illness

I'm so glad you found us!!.... Big hug for you...xo

There is also a bullying board here... boards for abuse and ptsd

Here's a link to bullying... I'm not sure what you've joined since you have a private profile

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bullying/support-group

Physical and Emotional Abuse Board

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Physical-Emotional-Abuse/support-group

I am really sorry you are having such a hard time right now but glad you are here on DS. I have to agree with everything SunCloud said. It just makes things worse when you clump all of the years together in one big pot and try to deal with them. I find for me it helps to take one day at a time, small steps at trying to be happy. Therapy does go a long way and I don't know what I would do without my tdoc. I hope you get to feeling better, here's a big hug just for you!!!!

I also agree with SunCloud and Autumn...baby steps. I'm 47 and if list all the things I've been through most people would probably say I was a train wreck. As a matter of fact I had one friend that actually told me that I had a sucky life! But I don't see that bc I hadn't told her all the good things in between the bad times.

Look around there is always somebody worse. I was feeling down yesterday and noticed a woman in front of me in line at Wal-mart had an infant and then I noticed she was missing an arm. Put my problems in a whole new light.

I've heard it said life is fair bc it's unfair to everybody.Hang in there for the good times that will come in your life. BIG HUGE HUGS!!

I'm very sorry all this has happened to you. I've had a rough life, too. I was bullied all through school. I came from a very dysfunctional family. My mother was an alcoholic and drank herself to death when I was 23. Been through some very traumatic events in my life.
I'm, also, on the disabled list. I haven't worked since 2004.
I know what it's like fearing that another disaster will show up.
I've been in the same place.
Hugs,
JennS