Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
So one of my friends came over today and like.... I was perfectly fine up to that point, y'know.
First I noticed that I was fidgeting while trying (and failing) to open a cough drop, then getting a key off of a key chain. My hands jerked and tremor'd very badly, the tremors were so rapid, I must've looked like a maniac. I felt like Frankenstein. I wasn't in control of my hands anymore.
Then my friend came over and i was stuttering really badly and thought maybe I was just anxious, but with that and the inability to do daily little tasks, I knew something was up. (come to think of it, my hands have had slight tremors days ago, but I thought it was my inhaler. Derp. I was wrong.)
It got worse in the car, I was stuttering every few words or so, like Jimmy from South Park. (if any of you guys watch South Park.) But my JAW would lock and then start moving in rapid jerking motions, kind of like teeth grinding motions, on its own, it was beyond my control, and my anxiety and self-consciousness about it made it worse, made the "tic" last longer.
I was also terribly uncoordinated. When we got to the park, my ankle twisted (thank god it didn't fracture) and I fell on my ass, my friend and I both laughed hysterically.
I fell on my ass a few more times while we walked the trails, talking to my friend Chelzy and having "tics" as I spoke, I had to hold onto her arm a few times because I was so uncoordinated.
We got home, danced in the kitchen, I fell on my ass again, we laughed at it again.
Then I became very forgetful, I'm not sure if I should call it amnesia, but. I was looking around for stuff for a good 20 minutes. I couldn't recall what I did 2 minutes ago. I mean I know the "I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast lolol" trope, but every couple minutes?
Anyways, me and the local pharmacist agree that the culprit is probably Zyprexa, I've only been taking it for like a week, but it has a whole slew of side effects and all of the motor coordination whatever stuff applies to my situation, so.
Zyprexa's not harmless, y'all.
My solution was to stop talking, which I did, and my tics went away. My friend left and I have nobody to talk to in-person so I'm not sure if I'll still stutter and tic if I talk to somebody, and I'm too afraid (and embarrassed) to talk to myself to find out. l:
First I noticed that I was fidgeting while trying (and failing) to open a cough drop, then getting a key off of a key chain. My hands jerked and tremor'd very badly, the tremors were so rapid, I must've looked like a maniac. I felt like Frankenstein. I wasn't in control of my hands anymore.
Then my friend came over and i was stuttering really badly and thought maybe I was just anxious, but with that and the inability to do daily little tasks, I knew something was up. (come to think of it, my hands have had slight tremors days ago, but I thought it was my inhaler. Derp. I was wrong.)
It got worse in the car, I was stuttering every few words or so, like Jimmy from South Park. (if any of you guys watch South Park.) But my JAW would lock and then start moving in rapid jerking motions, kind of like teeth grinding motions, on its own, it was beyond my control, and my anxiety and self-consciousness about it made it worse, made the "tic" last longer.
I was also terribly uncoordinated. When we got to the park, my ankle twisted (thank god it didn't fracture) and I fell on my ass, my friend and I both laughed hysterically.
I fell on my ass a few more times while we walked the trails, talking to my friend Chelzy and having "tics" as I spoke, I had to hold onto her arm a few times because I was so uncoordinated.
We got home, danced in the kitchen, I fell on my ass again, we laughed at it again.
Then I became very forgetful, I'm not sure if I should call it amnesia, but. I was looking around for stuff for a good 20 minutes. I couldn't recall what I did 2 minutes ago. I mean I know the "I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast lolol" trope, but every couple minutes?
Anyways, me and the local pharmacist agree that the culprit is probably Zyprexa, I've only been taking it for like a week, but it has a whole slew of side effects and all of the motor coordination whatever stuff applies to my situation, so.
Zyprexa's not harmless, y'all.
My solution was to stop talking, which I did, and my tics went away. My friend left and I have nobody to talk to in-person so I'm not sure if I'll still stutter and tic if I talk to somebody, and I'm too afraid (and embarrassed) to talk to myself to find out. l:
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
I would call your doc and discuss it for sure.. If you were off it and started over on a high dose from the beginning it might have been a problem... Normally doctors introduce a drug slowly to a therapeutic level
I love your colourful description as well...haha... You should be a writer V...Big hug...xo
Towards the end of the night (this was kind of a just-between-us thing, so I dunno about telling this tale) we just held each other for a long time, and I fell into a comfortable trance-like state and my tics stopped pretty much completely.
Having the ability to laugh at yourself is important in a new and scary situation.
Yeaaa, about that. I put myself on Zyprexa approximately a week or so ago because I was being extremely aggressive-acting towards my mother and I felt guilty, and also was still pretty severely depressed as I recall, and so I wanted it all to go away, I wanted my brain chemicals to take a chill pill. (bah-dum-tsssh, my lame excuse for a pun.)
I took myself off of it immediately yesterday. I don't care if I have side effects from stopping it, I doubt they'll be as bad as the tremors and tics.
I might call my doc sometime I've been avoiding my problems slightly and especially my psych place. Plus I have phone anxiety. But yea, I should probably just be honest that the Wellbutrin-900mgs a day Gabapentin-Depakote alone isn't enough so I self medicated with old pills from ironically, the same place (I was on Zyprexa in the CSU, but also was heavily sedated with Valium), and then that happened.