Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Disturbed420 02/22/2011

Do you think that sometimes ppl use the excuse of having bi polar or mental illness to get out of every negitive action or bad behaviour ? That any bad thing they ever do is because of bi polar. I don't think that everything we do is excusiable just because we have a mental illness we can't blame on mental illness- sometimes we are totally aware of what we're doing and still blame it on the illness instead of taking full responsiablity for it.

Maybe we don't know when its just us or the illness. So to be certain we blame the illness to be safe. I just don't think we can always use it. Somestimes I even question is it just me or the illness too ( when I do or say something that I shouldn't have) I think it can be confusing at times.

We are only human we can make mistake with or without an illness. The illness is just an extra big piece to influence our actions and behaviour. Sometimes we have full control and other times we are not fully aware.

I just had to bring this up because sometimes I think blaming it all on the illness is kinda a cop out when u knew what u were saying or doing and still did it, It's hard though I guess when bipolar has taken over and u think ur in control and ur really not.

Sorry if I what i have send is back and forth- I am pretty sleepy lol

Shelly4 02/22/2011

I tend to lean the other way. I avoid "blaming" my disorder and try to analyze the causes of my behavior and seek to be better. I do firmly believe that some behaviors can become out of control with this disorder but we all have different perspectives of our limits with this disorder. What one can and does learn to control, another cannot. I think genetics, character, personality also play a huge role in this.

All said, I learned the more I blame my disorder, the less I try to be my best. I opt for being my best to have a better chance at life. Being my best includes forcing myself to move forward from any situation.

deleted_user 02/22/2011

I agree with Shelly.

I never give my BP credit for anything, even when it clearly has been...

Shelly4 02/22/2011

Ev, we can all have good coping strategies. You have some that I have admired since I have known you and you have developed more along the way.

Dont think I dont struggle, freak out, cycle with episodes. I certainly do. I just try to push myself toward the positive and I am not always successful. I have been working on this for alot of years and have learned to know myself well. I know when to let it ride, fight it, push it, etc. I have uncovered alot of behaviors that were learned and could be changed. Believe me, I am a much different person than I was for many years. I just got tired of always letting this stinkin disorder win.

deleted_user 02/22/2011

This is one of my biggest pet peeves-- People using their illness to excuse the most bull shit behavior. People need to take responsibility for their actions

surferchica 02/22/2011

Shelly has some great skills.

I try not to make excuses. Its weak. Nothing will ever change if I use BP or lupus or anything else as an excuse.

When I was working hard to lose weight by changing my lifestyle, my motto was "no excuses". I have lost 95lbs and kept it off....its been a year since I reached my goal.

dancingd 02/22/2011

I blame everything on BP or the meds

Just to play Devils Advocate HAHAHAHA

****** I really don't ******

deleted_user 02/22/2011

I have not the worlds greatest coping skills but did learn early on to go the opposite direction and never blame the BP. Some ways that probably hurt me but in most ways I think its for the best as when its all said and done I still behaved in such a way BP or not.

deleted_user 02/22/2011

I do that a lot.

CarlaBent 02/22/2011

Well, Bipolar can often be a reason for what we do, but we're better off if we don't use it as an excuse. And if you don't use it as an excuse, you get much better at controlling yourself and not acting on an impulse. Keeps bad behavior to a minimum!!!!

jimlucky1 02/22/2011

I blame myself for everthing and expect myself to be responsible for my actions.I try to look for ways to correct my bad actions and errors.But I had to go thru a big learning curve and paid a high price for my errors and ignorance.

Pain is also a good motivator for self examimation!

jimlucky1 02/22/2011

sorry wether my pain is my own or someone I have hurt.

TwilightStar 02/22/2011

Ive been around people who use it as an excuse for everything. I dont take it. I feel like you should take responsibility for what you put out. Im not saying by any means that you should be able to be perfect, Im just saying that if you for example say something obnoxious, I understand it is because of xyz factor of your problems, but it doesnt make it right.

And especially if people arent doing anything to manage / help their problem, I have no compassion for them.

Might sound cold but its the truth.

deleted_user 02/25/2011

Agreed, Carlabent.

deleted_user 02/25/2011

This is the perennial question of DS and BP--- are we taking responsibility for our actions or blaming the illness. I think when you first find out you have it you tend to blame BP for all things. But it's hard to say because bp can have subtle effects too, not just the dramatic obvious ones.

I'm trying to figure out if my bp is the reason I'm such a crappy housekeeper. But I tend to think it's my laziness. But I was a better housekeeper when I was hypo so go figure.

deleted_user 02/25/2011

I blame myself and usually it ends up being harsh. There have been times where I've said I know I was in the middle of an episode but I really should have done X,Y,Z.

My husband is more likely to blame something on bipolar disorder than I am. He'll even ask me if I'm manic when I don't even realize it. I don't always have a great sense of self-awareness when it comes to my ups.

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