I think you should talk to your pdoc about this idea of yours. She would be the best person to explain it to you, how it's done and what it will do for you and to you. I've never had it done , but did consider it once , but my pdoc didn't want me to do it at that time.

My sister in law has done ECT maybe 10 times or more. Then the truth came out and she was hoping she would die while under antisethology. She now gets none.

I wonder if someone can use their car batteries and jumper cables and do the same thing?

Someone had posted on utube a film showing them going through it and it didn't look a all what I thought it would look like. It was very mild lookng.

I once talked about it in group therapy (I have never had it). A group member had it done and her advice was a very stern "Think long and hard before you do this. I had to learn how to do everything all over again and my memory is gone. I had to learn how to hold eating utensils again".

I don't know if this is the same experience for everyone, nor do I know how much she had, but she scared me off of it. She eventually regained her skills, but had to go through a lot of occupational therapy.

I hope you can find another option.