Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Last night was a family gathering that I helped plan. It was for my cousin who is in from out of town. He is here with his girlfriend.
All was fine until the end of the night when I went to tell everyone goodbye. The girlfriend looked at me and told me she hopes I feel better. She had pity in her eyes. Huh? I never told her I wasn’t feeling well. So how did she know? There are 20+ suspects. That’s how many people were there. I can eliminate half off the bat as they are children. The only person there who really knew...my MIL.
My MIL has taken it upon herself to tell her I was unwell. I know that’s what happened. And all the bipolar depression that entails. This has happened to me before (where my MIL tells outsiders my business with my illness).
I’m trying to shake it off but I’m upset. Why does she think it is ok to tell my private business when I have told her many times not to?
I guess my illness is fair game in her mind. But I bet she didn’t tell any of the other family secrets. Which there are MANY. Just MY private stuff. Arggghhh.
If I try to tell her yet again how wrong that is, she’ll just crumple in a pile of tears and play the martyr. She plays that part to a T...when she’s not being passive aggressive.
I’m done telling her anything if she can't be trusted to keep it to herself. That’s the only solution I know. I swear I never learn.
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Sometimes I get if people are really going to be really close there might be a reason to tell - but a cousin's girlfriend?
It does seem like your mom has trouble keeping at least some things private
I think you're wise to simply not share in the future...… Another hug......xo
But that is me. . .
Gentle support while you sort your own. Sorry you were hurt. Hope the fiesta was a success enough ways to compensate for the thorn.
@fish You made me LOL! That is something I really needed. Thank you!
If you know your mother in law has a big mouth, then don't confide in her. It really is that simple. Its none of her business, she doesn't need to know, and it will cause you far less stress.
As for last night, personally I would have given a very exaggerated sigh, and said, "Girl once I get away from these gossip mongers, I'll be fine, welcome to the family..." and got on with my leaving.
We're BiPolar...that doesn't mean we have a sign on our back that says, "Yes you have the right to walk all over me." There's no comment in any diagnostic reading for BiPolar that says we don't get to stand up for ourselves however we so choose....
MIL's are a pain in the ass for the most part, just blow it off and get on with life, you know who, how and what you are...her opinion is just wasted energy on her part.
Take care.
Kat
I always think of the perfect witty response like 3 days after. LOL
I always come up with witty responses afterwards....but I’m starting to come up with some in the moment as I get stronger dealing with this. Humor is doing a lot for me lately.....
I applaud you for maintaining this relationship with your MIL despite her awkward, gossipy, small way of dealing with it. I know you do it for your family and I also like to keep the peace as often as possible these days. But you got through this party and you did it well! Give yourself credit because you did great.
It sucks when we deal with stuff like this. We get it. It helps me to mentally roll my eyes at comments like this as I go through life. People can be so dumb sometimes.
((((Hugs))))
It's a delicate subject to bring up, even if that someone is offering support. If you were sick in a physical way, it would be commonplace for a family member to say I hope you feel better, but since it's a mental health aspect, and it's always a big secret, it shouldnt be commonplace to talk about it. It's part of the stigma. I get not wanting everyone to know you suffer from mental illness and being mad if someone tells someone about it and you have the feeling they were gossiping about you, believe me I've very private about my diagnosis and I'd be pissed too about your exact circumstances. But i hope you're not ashamed or embarrassed now. I am, when it comes to people knowing, but sometimes I wonder why and try to tell myself it's not my fault any more than it is my fault that I also need meds for diabetes. I'm just hoping after the comment you're not feeling ashamed of your illness. Gossiping about a family member is always wrong.
Big ((hugs)), split.