Your husband needs to get help. Is he on meds? He should be seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist to help with his spending, hoarding, and abusive attitude toward you and the kids. For your kids sake, you should think about leaving him and insist he get help. I know that sounds harsh, but there comes a time when you have to take care of yourself and I think that time has come.

My husband and I are both bipolar too. We seem to get along pretty well. But, it is hard when we both feel depressed. We both are on meds and I see a therapist. Your husband sounds like he needs some help. Therapist, meds and some coping methods. And yes! Find time to take care of yourself.

I think the spending is associated with psychosis in mania. Your husband needs proper treatment or things will get worse. You can separate your finances, that will help some. If things don't improve then only harsher steps (separation/divorce) will help.

hi, I'd echo the question - is he on meds and if so which ones?

Lots of people have poor money management skills - you don't have to be bipolar and I think it used to be cited as possibly the biggest causes of friction in marriages in the past.

Hypomania with bipolar often makes it worse and possibly this is the issue but if you are not seeing any other symptoms then it's just he's not good with money or responsible.

Unfortunately as you've said he gets aggressive when challenged so whatever the reason behind his behaviour it's probably going to be hard to change.

I'm a bit stuck for a suggestion - you have my sympathy - I've had partners in the past who blew all the money I earnt and neither were bipolar. Happily those days are over and I'm married to a responsible adult.

Welcome and a big hug for you ambling..... This would be really hard to bear..... I also wonder about his participation in his treatment?

He needs to accept responsibly for what he's done in order to want to change the behaviour even if it is due to illness

He seems to lack insight from what you've written??... Is that so?

Taking his anger out on children is not okay at all..... They're helpless in this and it would be frightening for them.

I would insist on him getting help and plug into the help completely .... I would separate finances and cut up credit cards or I would walk away I think.....

It seems to me like he needs some type of an intervention on his behaviour and some big changes..... I'm really sorry that you're all going through this..... xo

sorry to read of the emotional and physical upheaval in your life....not fun! You have not stated if your hubby is on meds or not...from what you've written I'm going from 'he is not on meds'....and probably can't see the forest through the trees. No Amount of you trying to change him will work....So now the situation becomes What Can I Do for me and my kids. Choices suck when emotions are on High....is there a local woman's shelter, catholic charities, or any organization you can go to for support? Since you are bp too, can your psydr give you information to move forward for your own mental heath? Has hubby ever been physically abuse to you or to kids...tough road....have him arrested and get a restraining order...You've got to give Yourself oxygen for you first, your kids next. You might do some research by calling 211 if in US....largest bank of social service info....they can help you with a-z, also looking up 'infoline' with your state....that way you can look for specifics...wishing you the best of luck with the winding road ahead.

I can't add much except sympathy and support. The old days of banking you could have two to sign accounts and pay nearly everything by cheque.

He is on Welbutrin, Prozac, and lithium. He's been seeing a therapist for 9 years. I don't know what they work on, but nothing had changed at home. He's not physically abusive but we all "walk on eggshells" around him because of his temper.

glad to read he is on meds at least. In order to protect yourself, can you remove your name from credit cards? In this you if there should be financial backlash for non payment, you will not be held responsible, and your credit history will not be damaged.

Guess the next question to be answered only by you is 'what do you want' and find support to assist you in getting wants and needs met for you, your kids, and hubby. If he is a hoarder, from what my understanding of the illness is trying to take/give away/sell anything is impossible. My heart goes out to you in dealing with so many challenges, and pain in your heart for not knowing what to do, or where to go...and feeling stuck in such a confusing push pull situation.

For years I too lived with emotional/physical/financial/mental health challenges while growing up and after I had to move back home as an adult due to bp...two alcoholics, one sober one not....I went to alanon meetings. Eventually I learned to accept the person and keep their behaviors into a place of 'safe boundaries for me' and what I would accept from my parents and what I would not accept...for my own mental health...I have bp1.

I just could not wrap my head around the toxic environment of a home of eggshells and elephants in the living room, never discussed. I carried huge rage and anger. The other thought might be you getting some emotional support as well as knowledge from attending a 'hoarding' group to better understand the illness and perhaps some ideas from the participants....this is a link to TED talks on utube...I just type in a subject with 'ted talks' and have found the speakers to reach me and teach me in many areas of my physical and mental life~~best to you, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0c33pemjLw, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T33vGEPL-wg