Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm just curious if anyone feels the same way I do...
Like many other people on here, I had to pretty much walk through hell before I was diagnosed, so I was all too aware of how bad being bipolar can be. Finding out that it runs in the family wasn't very comforting. In my generation alone, three kids (myself included) were born with it, one to each family. My cousins weren't as lucky as me. They didn't get diagnosed at a young age like I did and suffered the consequences of being unmedicated and misunderstood in this world; drug addiction, multiple suicide attempts, and eventually jail time. In the generations before the three of us everyone who had bipolar died at young ages, usually by their own hands.
My family history is not a pleasant one for bipolars.
Once diagnosed I thought almost immediately about what could happen if I had my own children. I know the statistics, the chances of passing it on. I decided that it wasn't worth the risk, no matter how small, that I couldn't bare the cost if I were to pass it on.
That was a long time ago, but my feelings haven't changed. I'm thinking about it now because I recently separated from my partner. The relationship didn't work out for many reasons, but one of them was because he wanted us to have children, I didn't. He simply couldn't understand my reasons no matter how many times we talked about it.
This was never an easy decision to stand by, but it's the right choice for me. I understand that many people who are bipolar have happy, healthy children, and I'm glad for them, but I refuse to chance it.
Has anyone else here made the same choice?
Like many other people on here, I had to pretty much walk through hell before I was diagnosed, so I was all too aware of how bad being bipolar can be. Finding out that it runs in the family wasn't very comforting. In my generation alone, three kids (myself included) were born with it, one to each family. My cousins weren't as lucky as me. They didn't get diagnosed at a young age like I did and suffered the consequences of being unmedicated and misunderstood in this world; drug addiction, multiple suicide attempts, and eventually jail time. In the generations before the three of us everyone who had bipolar died at young ages, usually by their own hands.
My family history is not a pleasant one for bipolars.
Once diagnosed I thought almost immediately about what could happen if I had my own children. I know the statistics, the chances of passing it on. I decided that it wasn't worth the risk, no matter how small, that I couldn't bare the cost if I were to pass it on.
That was a long time ago, but my feelings haven't changed. I'm thinking about it now because I recently separated from my partner. The relationship didn't work out for many reasons, but one of them was because he wanted us to have children, I didn't. He simply couldn't understand my reasons no matter how many times we talked about it.
This was never an easy decision to stand by, but it's the right choice for me. I understand that many people who are bipolar have happy, healthy children, and I'm glad for them, but I refuse to chance it.
Has anyone else here made the same choice?
I wasn't diagnosed until about 35. In the throws of getting diagnosed and my life unraveling around me I had horrible guilt that I was married and had 2 kids.
Totally ridiculous mindset on my part but that was for me, fear talking.
I have to say that if I didn't have my husband and kids I really don't know what would have become of me. They are my grounding force and they give me a sense of purpose.
Now don't get me wrong on my most horrible days or moments I get that nagging guilt and pang that I should never have gotten married or have children. I get where I feel they deserve so much better.
It is all in my head and I have to just stop the negative talk and see the wonderful life I have created.
I can not even speculate as to what my life would have been like if diagnosed earlier. I just don't know.
I will say now being more aware and so on, I find the bipolar is sometimes the lesser of my "issues". Childhood trauma issues are my real demons.
I have a great deal of respect for those that have made that decision. Peace all.
Not a member of this group as I am unipolar, but severe. Had I known before I had chidren, I would have chosen not to have chidren either. I would not want my illness revisited on them. I have two, one has mild depression, the other not. But I continually worry theywill get it later on as I did at age 35.
I truly believeone of them (the one with the mild depression) blames me for the illness and possibly for passing it on to her.
I have also decided to not have children. It's not that I don't want children, however, I would never pass this on to another human being. My medical issues run deep and are many. So it would not be fair of me to bring another person into the world. Also - my partner is Bipolar as well. Therefore our child would have twice as much of a chance at having Bipolar disorder and whatever else we have (his medical issues are as bad as mine!) so really - our child would probably have a gene pool of toxic waste. I love children, but I am happier without them. If you are not with someone who understands your decision (it being your body and all) then you are right to move on. You can't be forced into procreating. It's not fair to anyone involved. x