Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Have you ever wanted to post something but you just didn't know how to word it and ended up not posting at all? Or you just didn't feel like talking about it though you knew you should because bottling things is a recipe for disaster and those around you wouldn't get it? I feel like I've cracked I'm just losing it. I don't even really know what I'm talking about. I'm just typing because it gives my hands something to do. Sometimes i visit other groups and leave comments even though I'm not in the same situation as them. Or I send them hugs. I'm gonna be alone you know? Not in the real sense but I'm going to feel alone soon and that's the kind of alone that really counts, isn't it. He's going to leave because I gave him no choice. And they'll stare. Everybody. And whisper and judge and make me feel bad. I already have to deal with my paranoid delusions that people do that to me every day now I'll know they really are doing it. How will I face the world every day? I've had mild social anxiety for years now, did you know? I try not to go out alone. Some days even walking to class or going to lunch alone is so scary I just don't go. And I don't talk much in class cos I can't handle being the centre of attention. I don't like being looked at. I barely look at myself in the mirror. There are days when I tape paper over them because I just can't stand my reflection. And I think maybe I'm seeing things again. Shadows moving. And sometimes I hear music and whispers and other sounds I'm sure are all in my head. I'm losing my mind, aren't I? Who am I? WHY am I?
Not everyone conforms to stereotype, and you should include yourself in this. For change for the good, is was makes us better both mentally and physically.
Your pdoc may says something you don't understand or agree with. He/she maybe a bad pdoc or a good one. I don't know. But don't rush to judge. This does not mean you should stay indecisive all your life, but it may help you to lead you to a better balance.
What you say in your posts here sometimes touched me and sometimes amused me. I could see a lot off my self there back in my youth, and I think you have a lot of potential to achieve much despite how you look or feel about yourself just now. Maybe just hold back sometimes and give your self and others a break.
Good luck on your journey.
Life sucks at times and at least you are arming yourself with tools to help yourself deal with issues. To me, this is the sign of an interesting person who cares.
I like to include humour too. I often laugh at myself for my failings, and like also to laugh with, not at, others.
KNOW that it is the illness, emjae. And NOT 'reality'. Claim that; it's okay to Acknowledge the feelings, the thoughts, but KNOW they are part of the illness and that NOT everybody will abandon you, stare, whisper, etc. You are Not the horrible monster you think you are, even though you can't See that right now.
Here we are.