Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been struggling with bipolar since I was 15 years old. At the time I chalked it up to teenage angst. Then depressing. Then anxiety. It wasn't until about two years ago bi polar got brought into the conversation. So there was a part of me that was thankful that I wasn't just going crazy, that there was a name to this madness. But the other part of me was mortified. Anxiety and depression have the opportunity to go away, Bipolar is for life. So now, I'm in the situation where I know that yes I'll get over this hurdle of sorts, yes I'll live to see another sunny day, but I also know that it's just a matter of time until it starts to come back. It's a cycle, which I guess is why they call it rapid cycling. I love the feeling of knowing a hypomania staff is coming, atleast i'll have some happy times. And i'll take the happy times even if it's accompanied by recklessness and impulsivity.
So in the mist of all this anxiety, depression, recklessness I'm supposed to live a life. I'm supposed to finish college, continue working, paying all my bills, continue taking care of my mom, continue pretending my world isn't in constant chaos.
So how am I supposed to judge all this balls in the air, without letting one fall? Medication they say. I'm on medication combo #5 I believe. This one triggers a lot of anxiety, constant migraine, and pretty severe insomnia. But don't worry, we will just up the dose of what's causing all this havoc and it will all sort itself out. And if not, we will try something else that will most likely make me sick, or suicidal or anxious, or simply do nothing at all. I'm supposed to create a support network. I go see a mental health meeting every two weeks. We talk about how i'm feeling, which is usually low. We talk about how my medication is working, We talk about relaxation techniques. So when I have a million thought racing through my head, all I need to do apparently is breath. Like that stops the thought.
I'm 21, and what? i'm supposed to do this juggling act for the rest of my life. I'm supposed to struggle through school, put myself into more debt, working more to pay off this debt? Is this the rest of my life?
So I guess my question is, is there hope? does it get better? do people grow up to live normal lives, will this 'stage' in my life end?
So in the mist of all this anxiety, depression, recklessness I'm supposed to live a life. I'm supposed to finish college, continue working, paying all my bills, continue taking care of my mom, continue pretending my world isn't in constant chaos.
So how am I supposed to judge all this balls in the air, without letting one fall? Medication they say. I'm on medication combo #5 I believe. This one triggers a lot of anxiety, constant migraine, and pretty severe insomnia. But don't worry, we will just up the dose of what's causing all this havoc and it will all sort itself out. And if not, we will try something else that will most likely make me sick, or suicidal or anxious, or simply do nothing at all. I'm supposed to create a support network. I go see a mental health meeting every two weeks. We talk about how i'm feeling, which is usually low. We talk about how my medication is working, We talk about relaxation techniques. So when I have a million thought racing through my head, all I need to do apparently is breath. Like that stops the thought.
I'm 21, and what? i'm supposed to do this juggling act for the rest of my life. I'm supposed to struggle through school, put myself into more debt, working more to pay off this debt? Is this the rest of my life?
So I guess my question is, is there hope? does it get better? do people grow up to live normal lives, will this 'stage' in my life end?
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Mom and I have errands to run this morning. She said we can get sushi for lunch though. I go back to work today. What are you looking forward to this weekend?
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Quick, before the evil MONday gets here! Let's climb those mountains, dance in the meadows, dip our feet in the ocean....Okay, so most of us won't be doing any of That. Sadly. But today can still be a great day!The area behind our back fence is on an incline, with less than two feet on even ground at the top. I don't balance well enough for the incline, but our mower guy mows that...
The trick is to pick the not so much times.
Stick around here too. This is a good, supportive place. We vent, bounce ideas off of each other, etc. all the time. ((hugs))
The best thing to do now is just create that support network around you and that is why WE are here. I've been on this website for a couple of days and have received more help in the last 2 days then my therapist provided in a years time. This support group is a family, you can lean on us and we will help you move forward.
Chin up hun, it gets better.
Good luck and hope it gets better for you soon.
Hugs.