i find that if i just allow myself to not have to control everything, i am disappointed far less. it is something i struggle with also.
when someone lets me down, it really upsets me.

The only way to avoid disappointment is to have mega low expectations.

As for disappointment, I guess its a very mild case of grief, a reaction to a loss, you didn't get what you expected or hoped for or felt you deserved. Now you need to adjust to the new reality, one different to the one you wanted.

I don't have an answer sorry, apart from looking to the future and trying again or taking a different path or looking for the positives in the new situation you find yourself in.

Or have a bloody good tantrum bawling your eyes out to get the anger out of your system.

Well, sharing on these boards is a good start!! I agree withshining, lowering expectations in general in life is a good strategy. I just walked (again) into a situation with the mental health "profession" which was really bad and the individuals concerned really did cause me hard, hopefully not long term harm. Part of my part in it was to too quicly trust the clinician involved and when she really screwed up I got hurt. I'm such a sucker. I was expecting the most fundamental level of care, which IS a reasonable expectation, but that didn;t help. But at the same time I have learned in other areas of life NOT to have too high expectations.

The other thign is that I work in a particular therapy model called ACT and Mindfulness. There is a lot to the whole therapy mode, but the bit that relates to this is mindfulness. I'd never even heard of it until I was put on a six week, one night a week course on it. If you have repeated intrusive thoughts, and disappointment could be one, there are a variety of tactics to defuse those thought - not squash them as they pop up elsewhere, but accept they're there but disengage with the thoughts. It's really cool and unbelievably it works. The only time it doesn;t is when I'm REEEEALY sick, say massive rolling panic attacks and when i'm like that all I can do is sit it out. The book that I studied at the psych hospital and keep studying now 3 years later in The Happiness Trap.

I'm sorry heretic. All I know to suggest is to look forward. Don't let one person or incident bring you down. Look inside yourself for satisfaction, because people can be disappointing. I know, that is easy for me to say.

I am rarely disappointed. Even then, I don't care much. In the grand scheme that is my life, I have learned not to expect anything or depend on anyone. I learned this when my mama was sick. Everything else pales in comparison. MK

I am so lonely all the time that I am disaapointed most of the time. So I am suicidal most of the time. I am always the listener no one ever wants to listento me talk. People go places with their husband and I have known both with my dead husband 35 years but they dont invite me. I have to sit and watch really old pp eat and drop food on their shirts. (not work) I have nobody to go and have coffee with or take a walk, or to a museum or a bike ride, or down to thecenter to see an exhubit, or to pick me up whenmy car needs to be fixed. Life is F**Ked.

After I tried to off myself 3 years ago and nearly succeeded one friend stuck with me and I've been ever grateful. As she has a husband and two small kids, the pattern is so often that me as the single person will phone her more often (we live a long way away now). Through the years that dynamic has hurt me so much - many friends with family would call me less than I call them. But now I hve lowered my expectation of her in this regard.

But our phone calls are overwhelmingly about her, what's she's doing with the kids, what she's cooking tonight, what he husband is up to. And she also often gets right on my case, you should do this, you should do that, when I haven't asked for advice (of course I'm a mental patient so it is "acceptable" to lecture me - been there, done that). I am currently going through a painful period to go that next step and really lower my expectations of her. I care for her greatly, but I am not in her immediate circle of people who are significent in her life and that is absolutely normal. So I'm backing off now, and really have been doing this - not calling her so often etc. It's hard because I am very lonely and genuinely alone in the world, but I need to have self respect.

I've often had the same problems with expecting too much from people and situations. I never viewed it as expecting too much because I expected what I gave to people. After years and years of disappointment, someone finally told me that those people just weren't that good of friends. Similarly, those situations may not be the best situations. I take the approach now that any time I am faced with disappointment, I tell myself that it's just a feeling and it is not permanent. I make sure and remind myself that everything doesn't disappoint me in life. You know, like saying everyone in the world doesn't hurt me, so getting hurt once isn't the end of the world. I guess it's kind of a reassurance thing.

I feel like I talked in circles, but either way, hope I helped some. =]

Well said Steven.

I've lost 2 best mates... but i lost one of them because the other told her i was not going to her 21st and was apparently going to another one and thats why she has cracked it at me .. the other one cracked it at me because i didn't say how are you when i was going through shit.. i did the right thing and told them i was sorry for the language but i'm not sorry about the other shit caused by them... and they didn't choose to write back.. yeah i got dissapointed ..i used to get so dissapointed it ruined my whole week... but now i know my bipolar and i know my strategies and all i do is set my mind off it to other things and tell myself i'm better than this.. and i walk away.. since meds i'm so much better at walking away and getting out of dissapointing siduations. but i do get down time to time but it doesn't ruin my whole week like it used to.. i just say to myself.. well it's life.. theres no more i can do .. so i move forward instead of walking back.. it's hard but i do it better everytime.. but don't get me wrong there is somedays i feel like shit but not as often as it was before i was diangosed.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

and

CBT