Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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glorychild 10/12/2007

I feel like the world is gone but i am still stuck in it. that everythings dead all around me but I am still living that I am the cause of everything wrong. that I didnt defeat life I caused it to be horrific and unscavable that I am the cause of all of societys woes and THAT is a extraordinary cross to bear!

okay this is what i wrote when i thought about how i feel when im depressed.

how do describe your depression?

deleted_user 10/12/2007

wow, it's hard to...i guess i would have to say i feel like nothing good will ever happen again, i'll never feel happy again, and i just feel empty and worthless, sort of stuck here but not meant to be here. I don't feel that way now, but that is usually what goes thru my head.

deleted_user 10/12/2007

Boy you give yourself a lot of power with that one to be able to conrol so many things. I just feel worthless, I look at others and wonder how they can seem so normal, what is wrong with me. I basically just feel so sorry for myself. It disgusts me when I am feeling better that I felt that way as I have so much to be thankful for.

deleted_user 10/12/2007

here is my attempt at describing how I feel about everything. cathartic but hideously pompous and selfish.

http://juggedhare.blogspot.com

the first few lines of your description reminded me of Girlfiend in a Coma (Douglas Coupland)

deleted_user 10/12/2007

I used to feel that way.
Like I was loseing something.
I couldnt see anything positive.
Now with sarequil I have my life back.
God bless you
Matt

glorychild 10/12/2007

i needed to really think about how i feel when i am off the wall. and this is what i came up with. maybe its just too much. looking back-it would scare anyone

deleted_user 10/12/2007

You couldn't possibly be the cause of everything wrong because I am, LOL! Honestly, I can totally relate to that feeling because I have felt it too.

In the worst depression I've had, I described myself in my journal as subhuman, not worthy to even be called a worm, undeserving of God's forgiveness or of anyone's love, not worthy of air to breathe.

That's just a snippet of the self-loathing I am capable of if the mood fits.

deleted_user 10/12/2007

I lack energy, don't look forward to anything, feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. And Numbness. I am numb. I hate being around people other than my husband son and family. I look at the ground. I hunch my shoulders. I am invisable.

deleted_user 10/12/2007

I can relly scarethe cra out of myself when I'm having delusions. I beliefe at times you probably also know that you are God. One way I solved my terror once was that if God could doanything, then God could give me a new soul or buy mine back if I had really lost it. I don't know if this describes depression or not, but I am familiar with what you were talking about in your original post.

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