Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I know this isn't really a big deal and it's not somethig that needs immediate attention but.....
As is pretty typical I stopped taking my anti psychotics a couple of months ago because I decided that my diagnosis was wrong.... found a doctor to treat me for physical symptoms that both my regular doctor and psychiatrist just blamed on depression (turned out I have a raging Ebstein Barr infection causing fatigue so I was right that it wasn't the depression... AND I have a kidney infection...) BUT.... he (the new doctor) encouraged me to stop taking the psychmeds.... I didn't need much encouragement. I know it takes awhile to readjust when starting and stopping meds so I was willing to tolerate whatever effects I had for a couple of months but the last week or so I have become increasingly confused and my thought process is just weird. Tuesday i got up and got ready for work.... my son says "where are you going"? "Work", I say. "Since when do you work on Saturday?" he says..... "It's Tuesday" says me..... "No it's Saturday" says he..... so I get pissed at him for goofing off and trying to make me late for work.... I check my cell phone because it displays the day so I can shut him up. It clearly reads Saturday. "Ha ha, funny joke" and I demand to know how he got my cell phone to display the wrong day.......... then my other son calls and say's "did you forget you have to give me a ride to the lab"? " I said "That's not until Saturday"..... anyway..... I drove to work anyway and no one was there and the building locked for the weekend..... fine. I accept that it's Saturday, go pick up my son and take him to the lab. But all day I just felt wrong. out of time, out of place.... just wrong. Nothing fit, nothing was right. Only being Tuesday would have made things right.
I don't even know what I'm asking....... It was so nice to think that I wasn't Bipolar.. and even have a doctor to back me up. And he was right about things that my other doctors were wrong about so I want to still believe him. Now I don't know which way to go..... I thought everything was great until Saturday/Tuesday but now I can see that I've been hypomanic. I'm broke - everything I worked so hard to save this last year is gone and I have nothing to show for it, my yard looks great, my whole house is clean, I'm writing like a madwoman, my buzzer stays under my pillow because I'm using it a lot ..... yada yada.
Could he still be right? Or are they right? I don't know anymore, I lost the clarity and the conviction. Damn it I want him to be right. But now I've been confused since Tuesday and I don't know who to call.
As is pretty typical I stopped taking my anti psychotics a couple of months ago because I decided that my diagnosis was wrong.... found a doctor to treat me for physical symptoms that both my regular doctor and psychiatrist just blamed on depression (turned out I have a raging Ebstein Barr infection causing fatigue so I was right that it wasn't the depression... AND I have a kidney infection...) BUT.... he (the new doctor) encouraged me to stop taking the psychmeds.... I didn't need much encouragement. I know it takes awhile to readjust when starting and stopping meds so I was willing to tolerate whatever effects I had for a couple of months but the last week or so I have become increasingly confused and my thought process is just weird. Tuesday i got up and got ready for work.... my son says "where are you going"? "Work", I say. "Since when do you work on Saturday?" he says..... "It's Tuesday" says me..... "No it's Saturday" says he..... so I get pissed at him for goofing off and trying to make me late for work.... I check my cell phone because it displays the day so I can shut him up. It clearly reads Saturday. "Ha ha, funny joke" and I demand to know how he got my cell phone to display the wrong day.......... then my other son calls and say's "did you forget you have to give me a ride to the lab"? " I said "That's not until Saturday"..... anyway..... I drove to work anyway and no one was there and the building locked for the weekend..... fine. I accept that it's Saturday, go pick up my son and take him to the lab. But all day I just felt wrong. out of time, out of place.... just wrong. Nothing fit, nothing was right. Only being Tuesday would have made things right.
I don't even know what I'm asking....... It was so nice to think that I wasn't Bipolar.. and even have a doctor to back me up. And he was right about things that my other doctors were wrong about so I want to still believe him. Now I don't know which way to go..... I thought everything was great until Saturday/Tuesday but now I can see that I've been hypomanic. I'm broke - everything I worked so hard to save this last year is gone and I have nothing to show for it, my yard looks great, my whole house is clean, I'm writing like a madwoman, my buzzer stays under my pillow because I'm using it a lot ..... yada yada.
Could he still be right? Or are they right? I don't know anymore, I lost the clarity and the conviction. Damn it I want him to be right. But now I've been confused since Tuesday and I don't know who to call.
OK, we all do the best we can. Sometimes we decide right and sometimes we decide wrong. But that's why we have the professionals to help us out! Your new doctor shouldn't have encouraged you to stop the anti-psychotics without checking with your other doctor/s since, after all, doctors only know what they know. We'd all love to find out that our diagnosis is wrong and we can stop taking meds. I tried that for 3 years, in and out of hospitals. I finally gave up and took the meds faithfully.
I've experienced the time loss in mania. It's really scary. I'd call your pdoc. The confusion is in his area of expertise. I hope it all gets straightened out.
Depending on what dosage of medication you were on and for how long, you very very vulnerable to withdrawal symptoms which can happen until the body has re-adjusted to not having the chemical in the body. The other side is that while it could very well be a physical cause, that physical cause is obvious not put right yet.
It sounds you could really do with some impartial advice from an objective professional who isn't out to profit from you.