Having a supportive partner, significant other, spouse in the mental health journey is more important than hiding or concealing the issues bipolar brings about. I can't give any advice except don't feel you have to tiptoe around the issue because it could lead to suffering and isolation in the relationship.

I'm separating from a marriage from someone who HATED my 'mental health treatments' and I'm finally starting to feel better about myself. Lonely and don't know if the future holds any relationship prospects except for the cats I'm looking to adopt....but my anxiety has lifted tremendously.

Everything in life is a gamble. My first marriage lasted 7 years and the second 14. Everything that failed wasn't all my fault or the fault of BP. There are a lot of freakjy people in the world who aren't diagnosed! I gave up after that. But if we're afraid to fail then we'll never succeed and I figure the odds are even.

good thinking, Winston Churchill I think said the only fear is fear itself, the only failure is not trying. I haven't been in a long lasting relationship for many years, reading of your 7&14, good track record. Concern...honesty and communication are huge parts of a relationship...good luck as you process! ml

Have you ever thought of having him come to an appointment with you and talking about your illness? I told my husband when we were engaged and he was like - "eh, I don't care. I love you and this doesn't change that." Fast forward a few months shortly after we were married when I had a really hard time and I had a mixed episode. He was there - totally there - but totally freaked out. I think the thing that helped the most for him was psychoeducation AND knowing that I was dedicated to my treatment. It was a risk that was worth taking. Our 10 year anniversary is April 14 and we have been together 13 years.

I don't think it's fair to you or to him to try to hide a part of yourself. It sounds like he's open to the whole thing so I think you should be too.

I have spent a lot of my life robbing myself of relationship happiness because I am worried about all the bad things that could happen. Well where has that got me? Nowhere.

Being a bipolar person makes you valuable, it gives you unique perspective on the world, emotions, and moods that healthy people simply will not get. That makes you wort something! There are drawbacks to being bipolar but that doesn't mean we should deprive ourselves of things like relationships, we're perfectly capable of being bipolar and having a relationship. It's just a question of whether the other person in the relationship has a broad enough view of humanity to understand and put up with our condition during the trying times.

If he appreciates that you seek treatment for your disorder that should be a great first step to a healthy relationship. I would keep the conversation about it as open as possible, if it scares him away then it's better you scared him away sooner than later, like after you have kids or get more invested in the relationship.

Big hug for you Cait.....

If this is a new guy I wouldn't share a lot about yourself medically..... Any more then you would share about any other medical condition with someone new

I would personally take some time before oversharing if it were me......Just because a person with bipolar has a bad day doesn't make that day about bipolar if that makes sense

It's really nice you've met someone special..... Big hug.....xo

I completely get your hesitancy in wanting to be completely transparent with your boyfriend, given his past. You don't want to trigger negative emotions/feelings from his past that could cause him to pull away from you. However, you are who you are (bad days and good days) and that isn't something that you should feel you have to hide (hiding things will only last for so long anyways). Just as you have support in your life through family/friends/mental health counselor, you should have support from your boyfriend. One thing that he may have to work through is the difference of you from his past relationship (not easy!)- that you take care of yourself, but it's okay that you have bad days too (who doesn't??)
I am glad you have met someone whom you see a future with and are excited about! It might be hard at first to be able to share all parts of you, but know that it's worth it in the end when you are able to walk through all of life with him, not just the good parts (it's usually through the harder parts that growth and closeness happens).
Good luck!

Thank you for all the advice! I will share my struggle with him, as many have mentioned, he needs or should be an important part of my support system, but i think i will wait abit, until things are more settle, so he separate me from my mental illness.