I've stopped wearing as much makeup. Tbh the reception I get is nearly the same? o: Friends have been very supportive of me being less fussy and over-analytical.

Until recent times I was consumed with wanting to look doll-like. Literally, "like a doll", it's a thing now I guess. (There was a My Strange Addiction episode on it I believe?) I spent so much time on it, I was becoming skilled and could've easily gone all the way with it, but I just sort of... Stopped.

I guess I have to lend some credit to the blogging site tumblr. I'd followed about a hundred blogs on the fashion, some owned by the girls within the community, others were admirers of the style, and I became "de-sensitized" to it. There were a few I kept up with religiously, always loved and always will, but the rest.... I recognized them as pretty faces only. It no longer inspired me, moved me to change myself.

But more recently I'm inspired by the hippy-dippy low-maintenance chicks, the ones with the scruffy hair and the wild eyes. Lizzie, Luna, Sara, Marnie, to name a few. Mind you I'm still more shallow than any one person should be, but I'm more lax about it. Instead of "andro doll" I'd be happy with "fit queer", some muscle definition, rad hair, a nose job still sounds nice. But it doesn't kill me that I'm not there yet.

I don't have the hippy-collar-bony pronounced-ness, or the sharp features, but I can still out-run my best dude friend, and I can dance playing off the way my lady friend moves, and there's a sort of pride and security I have in that. I've learned to stop questioning my dynamic preferences so damn much and just sort of go with it. I've stopped questioning myself constantly, it's done a world of good.