So very sorry for your loss.......

My father was the same age when he passed away and it totally rocked my entire world......please don't hurt yourself over this he wouldn't want that for you. Keep talking and go the the tdoc, grief groups anywhere you can go to talk about how you are feeling. You are stronger than you realize.....

*super big hugs*

hey there. i too am grieving the recent loss of family. i used to be bulimic for 7 years so i understand what that's like. what helped me to stop was realizing the damage i was doing to my body and not wanting it get get any worse. so i had to learn how to sit out those uncomfortable nauseaus feelings and the urge to purge. you just have to sit through it instead of acting on the impulse to go to the bathroom. eat a small to medium amount of non trigger foods (i.e. milkshakes, icecream, stuff that's easy to throw up, unhealthy food like pizza and hamburgers, all that stuff that is bad for you and makes you feel like you might get fat from it) and after you've finished eating, just hold it in. hold your food down in your stomach where it belongs. you just gotta sit tight through the feeling or go distract yourself by going on a walk or something. even if you do slip up and eat a trigger food, it's ok. i learned that i am responsible for what i eat, so it really made me eat more healthy and eat until i feel satisfied, but not full. remember, you are responsible for what you eat. if you overdo it eating too much or unhealthy stuff, you have to hold it in as a test of self control. exercise will help with the depression/anxiety as well as burn calories, so it is a very good coping mechanism. best to you. hugs