Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

7,122 Members
126,456 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

chameleon friends

MrGrub
MrGrub
After a long time of putting up with it because my self esteem was low, I've decided to cut ties entirely with a large number of my friends- who it turns out have been spreading their views about my illness (apparently I'm just weak, and only have my self to blame) among themselves and to others. Before my last major depression I'd been a bit of a socialite, and had a fair bit of personal success- I'm certain they were envious or something, because as soon as my mood did an about turn, they were queing up to have their little digs at me. I get the same from certain relatives who really should know better. Well I've decided they can all just fuck off- they bore me anyway. This will reduce my circle of pals considerably, but I'm in the mind to start again anyway- their derision is only compunding the problem.
Has anyone else had an experience with their friends like this one?
MrGrub
MrGrub
I mean "compounding"
deleted_user
deleted_user
Too many times.
I find it hard to sustain any kind of friendship.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Of course
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have just isolated myself from my pals as you would say in the last 6 months. being around them was starting to make me feel unhappy and i felt thy didnt understand which in time has shown i was right. i just wanna stress that you have to look after number 1 which i have taken some time in getting used to but am getting better. friends are a dime a dozen mate. if you can count your real friends on one hand by the time you die you have done well
deleted_user
deleted_user
Toxic relationship can only harm us, and do nothing to help us at all. You may be making the best decision of your life. When the chips are down, you find out who your friends really are.
Yes, I have had this happen, and have found people out there "like me" who have been friends enough to practically lay their life down for me. (Not that I would want them to), but hey, we draw strength from each other when we need it. That's what it's all about. (Only my personal opinion).
deleted_user
deleted_user
I find it hard to relate to most people. They don't understand what it's like to be me and I don't understand what it's like to be them. Moreover, no one seems to have time for family and friends these days. I can't think of a single friend that I'm actually close to. None of them no enough about BP to be a close confidant. Sadly, none of them seem to have the time or interest in learning about BP either. I am soooooooo grateful for my husband and my mother-in-law who both are doing everything they can to learn about BP and support me. Short story, friends suck.... but in a nice way! lol
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've had similar with my family... and yes certainly with friends. Those are the type that put you down when your up and kick you when you're down
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, good riddance to them. Those are the ype of people BP's should stay away from. Calling you weak? That's just text-book ignorance. Life is too short to have A-holes like them constantly keeping you down. The best type of people to surround yourself with are people who have experienced what you're going through, they are the one who truly undestand. Sounds to me like most of your friends were nothing but a bunch of priveledged yuppies who've never had to deal with any form of hardship in their lives. Good on you for getting rid of them.
storiesmom
storiesmom
You can't choose your family but you CAN choose your friends.
beckyp
beckyp
My very "best friend" of 5 yrs started to ignore me when I had a really bad episode. She just stopped calling me. It was very hurtful, but who needs a friend like that? I have a couple of real close friends now that are always there for me and me for them whenever we need help or companionship.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You definitely made a wise decision. Real friends are rare and worth their weight in gold. Fair weather friends are easy to make and even easier to lose. The best thing I ever did for myself was going psycho and scaring off all of my phony friends, lol! Who needs 'em??!! People who are going to make you feel negative about yourself are usually doing it to make themselves feel better anyway. I have decided I won't even waste my time with people like that, life is too short.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely!
deleted_user
deleted_user
People like this make me sick. And the hardest thing to understand is how they can be friends with each other and think that their "friends" will never do the same to them. Why do they do it? What do they get out of it? I think they're more sick than you or I, just in a different way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good for you Grub!
I am proud of people who can find the stregth to empty toxic people out of their lives.
I had to do so with a long time friend about 2 years ago. It was so difficult, but I knew it was best. She probably chalked it up to being bipolar AND pregnant. But, if that's what it took to have the strength to kick her to the curb, so be it! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had problems like this in college sort of; people who'd dump on me endlessly, but if I needed support, had no time at all. Whiney yet righteous.. etc. I think as you get older you examine why and how you relate to others and you learn to do it better. For me it's taken a long time; I used to beat myself up for not fitting in well with my then-circle. I'd feel lonelier around them than not-around them. Being around people who don't have any empathy is kind of pointless, unless it's on a very surface level. You learn who to trust and how to connnect with people you can relate to. Also, you can choose to what degree you'll engage, maybe some of these people you'll still be in contact with but not very deeply. Just 'how's the weather' kind of talk.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Maui1992

    Side effects from psych meds u tolerate

    Posted by: Maui1992
    Last Reply: Maui1992
    10
    What side effects from psych meds do you live with? We have to try several medications and many do not work out because of side effects. But, eventually, we have to choose a medication to stay on, but this medication may still have some side effects that continue. What side effects did you choose to accept and stay on the medication because the benefits outweighed the negatives?For me, while I'm...
  • OlderCPer

    Breathing much easier today....

    Posted by: OlderCPer
    Last Reply: OlderCPer
    11
    I know we don't do Political on this Board...But damn it feels good to know we have a Sane Man in the Presidency and an intelligent Woman in the Vice Presidency, ready to uphold America's Democracy and actually "Lead", not turn it into a Dictatorship or worry about who's in control of the codes that command our Nuclear Missiles!  I personally breathed a very, very big sigh of relief today and am...