Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I can see that this is a support group for people with Bipolar, which I don't have, my mum does. I just wanted to ask this to people who actually live through it though. So please any advice or anything please!
I'm already a member of Family and Friend's of bipolar support group.
My mum has started laughing at nothing that is apparent to anyone else, usually while she is alone. My sister has overheard her a few times. Now I know from previous experience that it means she is going into hypomania (I think that's the right word. I'm still trying to learn about bipolar properly).
My question is should I start to worry now because mum had gone psychotic twice after starting like this (and I mean ended up in hospital after attacking someone the first time and almost killing herself the second time) , but there have been a few times I was so stressed it would turn into that and didn't so I want to know if sometimes her going into hypomania is relatively harmless?
All the stuff I've been through with her has been really hard and I'm just not coping any more. I start getting really worried and anxious over every little thing.
She takes lithium but won't take the antipsychotic she is prescribed unless she has recently been psychotic. The last time she was on the way to going psychotic, she went to the doctor and got it on time, but see I can tell days before hand when she is going that way and she wont listen to me until she thinks she can feel it. Which would be fine except sometimes when she is in the middle of it I don't think she can see the forest for the trees so to speak.
I can't really get her to talk about it and want to manage having bipolar properly. I am grateful that she takes the lithium (although I have no hard proof she does just that she tells me she does). She'll only go to the doctor the bare minimum amount and won't see a therapist of any sort.
My younger sister woke me up calling this morning to tell me mum keeps going into her job late. So I dont know what is going on but if she keeps doing that it's going to cause problems for her. But I can't talk to about anything like that that. She just gets angry and horrible to me.
All I'm trying to do is help her. I want her to be ok. I don't know how much is my fault and how much I should just say well I tried.
I'm so stressed all the time. I don't know what to do.
Please help us.
I'm already a member of Family and Friend's of bipolar support group.
My mum has started laughing at nothing that is apparent to anyone else, usually while she is alone. My sister has overheard her a few times. Now I know from previous experience that it means she is going into hypomania (I think that's the right word. I'm still trying to learn about bipolar properly).
My question is should I start to worry now because mum had gone psychotic twice after starting like this (and I mean ended up in hospital after attacking someone the first time and almost killing herself the second time) , but there have been a few times I was so stressed it would turn into that and didn't so I want to know if sometimes her going into hypomania is relatively harmless?
All the stuff I've been through with her has been really hard and I'm just not coping any more. I start getting really worried and anxious over every little thing.
She takes lithium but won't take the antipsychotic she is prescribed unless she has recently been psychotic. The last time she was on the way to going psychotic, she went to the doctor and got it on time, but see I can tell days before hand when she is going that way and she wont listen to me until she thinks she can feel it. Which would be fine except sometimes when she is in the middle of it I don't think she can see the forest for the trees so to speak.
I can't really get her to talk about it and want to manage having bipolar properly. I am grateful that she takes the lithium (although I have no hard proof she does just that she tells me she does). She'll only go to the doctor the bare minimum amount and won't see a therapist of any sort.
My younger sister woke me up calling this morning to tell me mum keeps going into her job late. So I dont know what is going on but if she keeps doing that it's going to cause problems for her. But I can't talk to about anything like that that. She just gets angry and horrible to me.
All I'm trying to do is help her. I want her to be ok. I don't know how much is my fault and how much I should just say well I tried.
I'm so stressed all the time. I don't know what to do.
Please help us.
For me, lithium worked but left me numb. I was switched to depakote which has worked great for 17 years. There are new meds which work better for folks.
I hope that you are allowed to provide input to your mom's pdoc. When I use to go to a GOOD pdoc, he spoke with all family members individually to see how I was doing. I hope your mom has a pdoc that is an expert in BP. Most are not.
Jay
I don't get to talk to her doctor. She won't barley see him, only if she needs a prescription. He is ok, not someone who is an expert in BP but way better then anyone she has had before.
She won't let me help her not really. I am beyond stressed. I feel very stuck.
One thing I've been thinking about though is the year in-between her having her first 'episode' (when none of us knew what was going on) and her next one when they finally diagnosed her with bipolar she wasn't cycling like this. She was depressed but didn't have another episode until she was put on antidepressants. Antidepressants set her off into mania. That's when they worked it out.
Now she isn't on antidepressants but ever since that second time she has been cycling around and around over and over it's taking its toll on me and my sister. Ive been reading that some people who have bipolar cycle around a lot an some dont. I dont know why she didnt start off that way and now she does?
Mum can't see what she is doing to us. I love her more then you can imagine, and I don't know what to do when she is destroying me. I know it's not her fault, but that isn't helping anything.
Sorry to go on like this, I just I feel like I'm drowning because I don't really know what I'm doing. Mum won't even learn about bipolar, refuses. I try to tell her it's like having diabetes or something, you have to learn how to mange it.
But it's like she just wants to go along no matter how much she is destroying her life. And expects me and my sister to fix it after woods or something.
She went in late to work again. I don't know what she will do if she looses her job. She has like $13,000 of debt (mostly from a mania spending spree the first time) a lady is suing her for compensation ($11,000) for when she went psychotic and accidentally hurt someone. We are hoping she can just pay that back $10 a week, because she can't manage more then that.
And then there is all the everyday living expensive. She is single, she has no partner to pick up the slack.
when I spoke to her yesterday sounded quite 'normal', so I'm not sure what to think.
I'm so worried about her. So scared for her.
I want her to have a nice life. A good life.
You saying that makes me feel good :) because really I don't think I'm doing enough...
Or being there enough. But she isn't the only one in my life that needs attension, but I really am doing MY best for her.
So thankyou :)
Its very hard to reach us when we are in denial about our illness. Its a stage a lot of us go through and some of us stay there. Not much you can do if she refuses her meds - apart from maybe dissolve them in her coffee when she is not looking :-)
Its hard to balance your concern for her with not nagging. I get annoyed with my boyfriend and my parents when they start acting afraid that I am going into mania. I know they mean well but it just gets annoying the way they say it.
Sadly I had to go through a few destructive manic episodes before it sunk in that life will be better if I take the meds.
Can you maybe ask her the reason why she doesn't like her antispychotics? If it is a specific effect of them, there might be another that doesn't have that side effect.
Does she see a GP or a psychiatrist? Maybe you can call them or make an appointment with them to discuss your worries and see if they have any suggestions.
I know she gets horrible to you but can you keep saying things that are short and sweet and then take time out if she gets nasty? Like - "I'm worried you will lose your job if you keep being late" - then run away before the anger gets hurled at you. Might sink in that way if you keep repeating things. Or - "I don't want you to hurt someone like you did last time" or "I don't want you to be poor if you lose your job". Kinda just throw one liners at her rather than try to engage her in a full on conversation where she can get nasty.
Maybe you can write her notes?
Unfortunately the denial instinct seems to be very strong in some of us beepers.
So hard being in your situation, I really do feel for you. Its not good that it is making you ill. You need to take care of you.
Anti depression meds lift you quickly out of depression so many of those will definitely trigger BP mania. I have to be careful of this so do not take those. I only take mood stabilizer meds.
I know this may be controversial, but if she is not taking the meds, is cycling, maybe you need to prepare her food and slip the Litium into it. She NEEDS her meds to stay even.
It is sad that the pdoc will not speak to you. This is a sign of a very bad pdoc, in my opinion. Good pdocs know it is a team effort to care for one with BP - that the BP person really cannot be relied upon to care for themselves. I know I cannot.
It is sadder that she does not see him more often if at all.
I pray things get better for you.
Jay
I do try very hard not to nag at her because yeah it makes her mad. But its really hard for me to be feeling so worried and keep quite.
But I have just gotten back from seeing hershe does seem fine so Im not sure what my sister has been talking about. And she ended up saying to me that her alarm hadnt been going off. I checked it for her.
So I dont know wether my sister just jumps to all these things all the time. Or wether mum is trying to cover it up for me. I feel a bit calmer but not good, because Im always waiting for the next episodeI did notice that she is eating lots of chocolate which is another sign of her in mania.
I dont know wether she is actually ok. Or this is the beginning.
I could ring her doctor I guess if she were getting really bad, but what is telling him going to do if she wont go in
Anyway Im just trying to concentrate on the fact she seems ok. I cant stop the scared feeling I have because it is always, always there and made worse because my sister is ringing me all the time.
Its new years eve. Id like to go out and just enjoy it.
My sister is she isnt going home tonight or tomorrow night.
Thanks for all your help everyone :)
Right now I'm just praying she really is not going into mania.