I know I keep talking about the same crap, but I feel like I am drowning. I am mentally exhausted. I want to just give up. I had another session with mommy dearest that resulted in her tearing me apart verbally about everything from my weight to my job situation. I already feel bad enough that my job situation is so bad. Last year at this time, I could at LEAST pay my basic living expenses. This year I am facing financial ruin. I was getting ready to file a chapter 13 last year (the kind where you have to make a small payment each month. But you have to have employment in order to do it). So I'm so broke that I can't even go bankrupt. HAAAAAAAAAA. how pathetic am I!? I wish I could die. My mother is right. I am a failure. I had a sugar crash today (I have diabetes too). I thought about just laying down and letting myself die. But I didn't. I am also having an extra hard time because of the holidays. I was invited to thanksgiving at my aunt's house. My cousins will all be there. It is quite a drive though. My mother asked me to come out to eat with she and her AHOLE husband. I know how THAT will go. I may just tell them all that my gallbladder is acting up (which it has been). I will buy myself a piece of turkey, make some stuffing, veges, rolls and desert and spend it alone.