Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Over the past few months, I've been on a downward spiral. In July I moved out of my own 3 bedroom apartment. I traveled to Pennsylvania and NY for a couple of weeks. I returned to Maine and within a week decided to move to NY. I lived there for about 1 1/2 months. My depression took over. I was stressed beyond anything I could handle....and soooooo paranoid.
I moved back to Maine about a month ago. I spent 4 days in the hospital and am now receiving ECT treatments. Smiles are becoming more and more rare.
Is anyone able to bring a smile to my face?? A story, a joke, something inspirational....anything.
I moved back to Maine about a month ago. I spent 4 days in the hospital and am now receiving ECT treatments. Smiles are becoming more and more rare.
Is anyone able to bring a smile to my face?? A story, a joke, something inspirational....anything.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesnt matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
AND
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, Heavens getting pretty close to full today, and Ive been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So whats your story?
The first man replies: Well, for a while Ive suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didnt reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldnt you know it, he wouldnt fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldnt stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldnt stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy.
That sounds like a pretty bad day to me, said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
Its been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldnt hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now Im here.
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.
Picture this, says the third man, Im hiding naked inside a refrigerator
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
"Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine" explained.
"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Seth Rogan, Bear icon (ignore the annoying commercial it's totally worth it!!)
You MUST see this!
i droped my phone in the toilet and iwas like oh shit!
so my brother in law does two things when he drinks he gets philosphical and he thinks the world must see his ass.. and sometimes hes philisophical about seeing his ass and im like man when you drink you become such a smart ass....
so i have terrible eating habbits and im trying to impress this guy, my step mom says to slow down your eating put your fork down between bites this is going great, until i put the fork down and it launches a tomaoto across the room, he doesnt see but im so embaressed and laughing that the guys like " what is this chik laughing about?" meanwhile this guy across the room is like " whos throwing tomatoes?" and im like about to die i laughed hard i fell out of booth. true stories part of my stand up routine...
"What's bothering you, dear?" asked Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary. "My husband passed away last night."
"Oh, Mary!" said the good father. "That's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
"Yes...," Mary replied sheepishly.
"Well?"
"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun.'"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
some of the guys i know i call them mother fuckers, because they are. and they get mad at first and are like HEY! oh wiat i guess i am one of those too aren't i?
you dont really really ever hear anyone say father fucker. maybe cuz its a bit of a toungue twister....
you also dont hear people say daughter fucker either, maybe cuz is sounds so pedifile or incest but if you think about it, you ever had sex with a girl you are a daughter fucker. you dont hear son fucker eaither becasue i guess that could be misunderstood as sun fucker or some fucker in which case it would just cause confusion and kind of kill the blow.