People are never at their most honest at the end of the relationship. Or the begining either.

As a guy (and here I will don my crash helmet and cricketers cup) one of the hazards of being heterosexual is the mood swings. It comes with the territory.

As you say, we can't tell because we don't know you in real life. I'd be tempted to take not much notice, chalk it up to him being a wuss and leave it there. If it keeps happening, you might want to consider the idea.

But young men are notoriously fickle and cowardly about giving reasons.

my bp has never been an issue with my b/f's not because l hide my mood sings l am what l am but they never knew and the first b/f who did know when l was diagnosed l'd known about 6mths already was shocked he forgot l had it eventually. With my last b/f he was much more aware of my mood swing because he'd had a bp previous partner who stopped and suffered terribly from it so his life was effected until l told him what l had though he also never knew and was surprised.

l look at the partners along with my moods to see if its bp that they choose to use as the reason to leave if someone stops loving you it happens slowly and as it does they see you differently insted of every good thing standing out its every negative, it could just as easily be that you never gave him enough attention or partied too hard. lts not necessarily that as b&w as he is making life with you out to be, don't believe his version so readily try to step back and really see your life together l'm sure you are right and if undiagnosed he would have used another excuse he just wasn't right for you thats all.

i wish that i could control my moods like you.i don't know how my husband and kids survived my losing control,i mean losing control but one reason for all the hell i put them through was because i would not stick to any treatment... meds,

therpy,pdoc appt.
please keep getting the help you need and stick with it.and like fish i think your boyfriend was being a wuss
God bless you

My parents split after 30 years because my dad was worn out by my mother's bipolar...it can be very hard for other people, for those who care about & love us, I think. The risk of suicide, for example..etc

Especially difficult if bipolar & not med compliant and/or alcoholic (pretty common) or addict & if unable to have insight about own behavior (ie/unmedicated) & to take responsibility for doing best to look after own mental health

I have always been up front in the beginning of any relationship about my BP and anything else cuz I know how I am and there are days I cant handle living with me so I know damm well noone else can. And even tho I have been up front in the end they end up leaving - is it due to the BP? To an extent I think it is - I think when I am honest in the beginning they assume that I am exagertng lol once we are living together it becomes apparent I am not. No hard feeling in the end as I know how I am. I worry that even tho current gf says she is ok with it that the same will happen in the end once she has to deal with me on a day to day.

Does it upset me yes and no. I know I control it to the best of my abilities, am med complient and am honest about it so in that aspect yeah it hurts to know that even after all that noone can handle living with me but on the other hand I have figured it out and no longer expect too much from whoever I am involved with.

My boyfriend have a healthy relationship and I am bipolar. I am like you for the most part, my BP feels under control. I do have my bad days and I went through hell this summer with mixed mania but he seemed understanding. Sounds more like he was trying to come up for a reason to break up with you instead of giving you the real reason.

I'd never had someone state my bp as a reason for leaving before, which is what made me question his use of it. There were other reasons behind us not working, ones that were entirely valid. They were voiced and discussed before the break up a month later, but because that was his original explination it stuck in my head and has been bugging me since.

To have someone you love say that they can't be with you because of something you can't change hurts like hell, even if it was said out of cowardice. It's too late to find out whether or not he really meant it.

Thank you for your responses, they mirrored the opinions I'd already formed, but I just needed to get those questions, those thoughts out there.

l know its hard to see ourselves when unwell the judgements we make can be devastating overtime but there comes a point when stable when we know its not just us l've dated some very moody men...hmmm note to self what was l thinking......so its not all one sided perhaps he forgot that.

no one is perfect and your bp may have been an issue but how come you only know now where was his communication as a good partner to you about your actions before it was over and too late it may have been signs that you needed a new med or that you were coming up to your monthly but as he said nothing at the time it does make me wonder about him first.

Hey sweetie. This question has changed forms for me. I never thought my BP was too much until I got pregnant (am currently now). I had to go off alot of my meds and I was able to see myself in a different light at times. So, to answer your question: no, I dont think BP is too much to handle for the right partner when we are med compliant. I know for me, I need to religiously take the meds I am on, really watch what I say when Im in a "mood" and apologize quickly when I mess up. I love to play the blame game, but in the end, most of my arguments with my partner DO occur when im having a real bad episode, so I also have to take a look at that. Your guy maybe just couldnt handle it or was looking for the easy out..sometimes people just become kinda crappy at the end of a relationship and say crappy things to make it easier on themselves..

Here's my take on it....

He's a prick....plain and simple....or very ignorant...

You seem like a very nice person, and are in tune with your moods and how it effects other's.

You will meet someone that will be willing to learn and work with being in a relationship with someone that suffers from our disorder.

Good luck to you.xoxo

I agree with alot of what others had to say. I would say that it depends on how bad of a case of bp you have. If you have a severe case with rapid cycling, it would most certainly take its toll on any relationship. If it were a mild case where you could control or hide your symptoms then no, but all other cases you would probably not be able to hide your symptoms. Then it would come down to one thing only, love. I have had the same boyfriend for the past 6 years and I am getting progressively worse. He is a trouper -- hanging in, but ya never know...

I talked to my sister about this post last night. I didn't want to mention it to her or any of my family members because they tend to get overly worried when something is upsetting me, but she walked into the room while I was reading your responses and became curious.

She reminded me that my ex was doing and saying alot of hurtful things towards the end of our relationship. It was his way of getting me to break up with him, so he wouldn't have to end things himself, which ultimately I did do. It's her opinion that throwing my bp in my face the way he did was just another emotional strike, rather than an actual reason. After all, he never acted like my bp was a complication or concern during the 2 years we were together. However, it was an easy target should he want to hurt me and he knew it.

I've done, and am still doing, the best I can when it comes to managing my bp. If it was really a issue, but my efforts weren't good enough to satisfy my ex, he should have talked to me about it sooner. The fact that he didn't, (he couldn't even explain why he "couldn't handle" it anymore) hints that my bp probably wasn't the problem with the relationship.

I don't think he could've known the amount of self doubt that one little comment would stir in me, but I've decided to let it go. While I certainly made mistakes during those 2 years, some of which may have helped bring us to the final break up, I'm not going to place the blame on my being bp.

Again, thank you for your responses. Your and my sister's words have helped put this issue to rest in my mind.