I am trying really hard to understand this illness. I have been with my BF for over 4 years and even though he has been diagnosed bipolar I have a difficult time accepting that this is his propblem. He is also an alcoholic suffering from liver disease and he has had multiple incarcerations for DWI. He has had a tough life for someone as young as him, he is on only 38. He has a son from a previous relationship that is 11 and he has a family who is pretty supportive financially, however they too have a difficult time accepting the diagnosis. We tend to lean towards believing he is just lazy and uses this disease as an excuse to feel sorry for himself. FOr the most part he is active and does well however he has his moments where he will simply give up and go off on a binge with his friends. He doesnt drink everyday however I feel that his irrationality stems from his drinking. Anyway, what has led me to post on this site is that this past weekend he slipped into this depressive state that he claims happpens more often than I realize. You see, I dont live with him so I dont know if this is true. Anyway, all he wanted to do was sleep on the sofa all day. He didnt want to shave or eat or shower durign the day. He also did not want to tend to his responsibility of doing his AA"s or seeing his PO. He just did not want to do anything. The one thing however he was willing to do was have sex. I found that to be strange. How can you have energy for that but not for anything else. He was rather emotional through the whole thing though. He cried several times during the weekend, mostly about losing me and losing his family and apologizeing for being him. I failed to also add that he has psoriasis and this weekend he was severly broken out and he said that he was embarrassed to be out looking that way. I can understand his embarrassment about that however I cannot seem to accept the depression. I tried to talk to him nicely but eventually I get frustrated and demand him to just get up and stop being using his illness as a crutch. He said to me that I do not understand how he feels and that by me nagging him it only frustrates him further and adds more to his plate. This is why I am here. Please help me understand what I need to do here. He is on medication , Seroquil, however he takes it when he wants to. He sees a psychiatrist once every 2-3 months and he is also on parole for 2 more years. His parole sentence is really adding to his stress as well and the fact that he cant seem to find a job is also weighing him down. I really do love him and I want to be a better person however i cant understand what is soo difficult. I tell him he has a choice on how he chooses to live his life. He can lay on the sofa and feel sorry for himself or he can get up and fight. I will help him with whatever I can however I feel like if I accept Bipolar as a problem then I will only enable him further to believe he is sick. Please advise and I hope I have not offended anyone who suffers from this disease. I just want to know how I can help!