psy hospital stays are not fun nor pretty. When ever I've been in an ambulance, my upper body and legs were strapped down, I've never given a thought except for safety during transport.

This looks like a normal way to secure any patient riding in the back of an ambulance.

Well anytime your in an Ambulance your strapped down, for safety. The times I was in one for psych reasons I was generally 3/4's of the way dead and don't remember what the straps looked like.

The times I've been in one for Medical Transport I was strapped down at lower legs, waist and chest for safety reasons (the ones I remember)....its a bumpy ride, the gurneys aren't all that wide and they tend to be going pretty quick, most of the time...they don't want you falling off.

As for how "normal psych procedures" compare to "military psych procedures" I don't think there's going to be much of a comparison...its a very different world. The shame, stigma and general lawbreaking of the military psych world is incomparable to civilian life....I mean who in regular life has to worry about being Court Marshaled on top of worrying about being depressed and being suicidal, etc.??? Its 2 worlds that are almost impossible to compare.

This is different than when I was in an ambulance for my heart it was different. Some seatbelt like restraints but nothing like what is in the photo. Most of the other times they were doing stuff to me and the seat belts were in the way so I was just placed on the bed. I think they used some sort of special transport or special bed. It all seemed to be built into the bed and they acted like this was normal.

I still feel a lot of shame from my stays. I think about them quite a bit like why did I need them, how sick do I have to be to have been there, what did I do to end up there. I look at this and feel a great about of shame.

I just wanted to see if this is consistent with what others experienced. Please ignore this post. I still can not understand why I did what I did and what happened to me. I seem to run in circles making no progress. When will the path be clear?

Last time i was in in ambulance for suicidal ideations, they let me sit ton the bench so I wasn't on a gurney or seat belted. But in the past I was loaded and strapped in just as a normal patient would be. I have no experience or knowledge on how things work for military.

Thor you were never allowed to even try to understand them, you were given Mental Healthcare that barely qualified as Mental Healthcare, you were afforded no privacy to confide in your Dr.'s and you were expected to swallow all the pain down, get back to normal and get back out there and be the good Soldier you were trained to be.

There was nothing about your situation that afforded you any "way" to understand or work through what you were going through and that is not your fault. The shame and guilt were heaped on you....and it was so incredibly wrong.

I hope that with your new Dr.'s, now that your in a more realistic Mental Healthcare setting you'll be able to see the situation for what it was and learn ways to cope and deal with your BiPolar symptoms before they get to that level. That's the goal.

Older - I think they are. It is hard to tell as my measure is rather skewed. So normal for me is relative and why I have asked a few times to see if my experiences were normal. Maybe my normal is a bit different from others. I am angry at myself for all of this and shamed at it all. Not sure this will go away soon but I guess it gives the TDoc something to talk about. Thanks for listening to some rambling on and not making much sense.

Was this because you were in the military?

When I was in one hospital. At intake they had some guy have me take my underwear off, and bend over. He then used his hand to lift my scrodum to check for razer blades.

I felt very violated and humiliated.

When I was at a hospital in ElPaso, I was in the regular hospital....they must have thought I was on drugs.

So they wanted a urine sample. However, I was very scared. I could not squeeze a drop. They demanded a urine sample.

Since when a man is frightened, "It" shrivels up. I could not urinate for them.

They then caterized me. It was extremely painful. Before they did that, the male nurses looked at my private parts and laughed. Most likely at how small it became.

Then, they inserted the catheter. I screamed out in pain.

Humiliation

One more psychological story.

I was talking to some people on the back of the bus. In Colorado I looked forward on the bus. One guy whispers "He looked directly in it"...I had the feeling there was a camera thing that could focus on my eyes (maybe retina's) and read my mind or at least view what I was looking at.

It was quite frightening..

.A cop pulls over the bus for some odd reason. I had been running away. I was very parinoid. So I thought the cop was coming for me for some reason.i calmly picked up my bag, and got up and asked the bus driver to open the door.

I walked ahead of the bus. Along the interstate. The cop followed me on foot.

He asked me to drop the bag. I complied. Then he searched the contents of the bag.

After he did that he asked why I got off the bus. I said something, I forget.

He asked me if I was going to hurt myself or anyone. I said no.

Then he walked me to the bus. I got back in it.

Actually, a nice cop.

To this day I feel there is mind reading devices that can read your mind through the eyes.

I've been blocking that idea out. Hence why I have been isolating myself for 20 years. In my parents basement. It's why I'm afraid to live on my own.


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Stigmata - Thanks for the posts. It helps to validate.

The military side, as far as I can tell, is a bit more restrictive and far less concern for privacy. Sort of like your medical records. Civilians own theirs, but military you do not. It is government property and you only have limited access.

I was completely stripped searched when I entered the military ward. They tend to not follow the same sex doing the search and poke. For me, all female, door open. There was some guy but he was working the drug window. I think that I was checked over more clearly because of my rank. I was the same military rank as the commanding officer of the entire hospital complex so I was very interesting to a lot of the workers and the patients. My rank was gossiped about very well, you can tell by the looks you get. So a complete search was definitely part of it.

During my second round of heart surgeries, I was on the table for about six hours. They did not catheter me while I was under. So when I finally woke up - you must remain perfectly still for six hours or you might bleed to death, so after that, I told them I have to go. They said no, you can not move out of bed for the next six hours. So they did the catheter on me. Now, you had males, I only had females and one of the junior nurses trying out her new skills on me with the old wrinkly nurse giving instruction. Catheters are a big deal for males. You fell it all the way down and then all the way back out. I filled up a liter bag and then they needed to get another. six hours on the OR table will do that for you. I also still had in me the four veinous catheters and one artery catheter (about two feet long inside you). Those were yanked out about eight hours after you get out of the OR. Yank is the operative word. These were in the venus veins (middle of the groin) and first, everyone checks your full groin every 15 min for the first six hours, then fully expose you to yank out the catheters and then hard pressure on your groin for 15 min and then a check every 15 min for the next 12 hours. And of course, not a single male nurse anywhere to be found. Now that I am in the civilian side of medicine it is funny how careful everyone is about same-sex and such. The military showed me that if you are in medical you will not be afforded any privacy and everyone will know everything going on. It is dehumanizing. It is why I have trauma from this and it is why I have connected medical to my combat PTSD. Long story for another post.

Bottom line, very humiliating experiences. Also not that helpful. For my four days in the military ward, I spoke to no one. I sat and stared at a wall. No one engaged me or made a note (that I know of). The second time, I was in for 24 days. I told the truth for three and half weeks. I told them what I was thinking and how I felt. That only bought be more restrictions and someone staring at me every couple of minutes. After that, I lied. I lied to get out and get my freedom back. If I kill myself it will be away from this place. I could do it while I was there. I sat and thought about how for hours and came up with dozens. I hated being inside. I put myself in there. I sought help. there was some help but it was only addiction and PTSD. I have PTSD in spades, but the closer danger was the depression. I left worse than I went in. Yes, there is no point to this.

Overall, I think the military was rather different from civilian. I

Big hug for you Thor.... I am so sorry that people have had such bad experiences....

I don't believe those straps would be considered much of a restraint.... I think you could get out of them pretty easily

If they had seen you as a threat to either you or others you would have been shackled and in a restraint jacket

I've worked in a medium security facility and I've seen in many times due to people lashing out in violence

Big hug..... Mental illness can sure be a tough thing to bear at times...…..xo

Sun - thanks. The restraints were not the regular ones but something that pretty well immobilized me. I'm not sure how they could consider myself a threat as I laid in the bed and as was very quiet. This was a bad experience... very bad.

I was also scared of what was going on, and where was I going. They didn't tell me. I did suspect but was not confirmed till we went on the base. I lied to everyone about what had happened. Suicide is a crime and abusing prescription drugs and alcohol are very illegal under military law. I made out to everyone that it was a bad reaction. I really needed help and it was not until my next hospitalization did I confess what happened. I think I am still figuring out what happened because I am still obsessing over it.