Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
http://www.lifeloveandbipolar.com/bipolar_disorder_and_divorce.html
Last time I post something in this manner, I was criticized for acting like a therapist and thinking I knew everything, when all I was doing is posting the contents of a URL as per the request of a friend. So I am clarifying this right now. I am not the one saying these things... rather I found the article useful and want to share it.
Bipolar disorder and divorce
An alarming 90 percent of marriages in which one partner is suffering from bipolar disorder end in divorce. The most obvious reason for this disintegration is the substantial social morbidity that results from the bipolar individuals maladaptive behavior. Serious social drawbacks associated with reckless behavior like abuse of alcohol or drugs, accidents from excessive risk taking, financial burden from over spending, inability to remain gainfully employed are have the potential to unravel even the most loving of relationships.
Of course, the daily interactions of manic-depressives can be a threat to any social relationship, including marriage, as bi polar people have trouble containing their emotions. Their response to a usual joke might be shockingly unexpected (an extreme of elation or depression). A word of mild reproof can bring thoughts of suicide. And so, it is not difficult to link bipolar disorder and divorce. Living with someone having the condition is very stressful and teeming with misunderstandings and conflicts. That is why diagnosis of a spouse with bipolar disorder has been called diagnosis for the couple.
Undoing the link between Bipolar Disorder and Divorce
To break the bond between bipolar disorder and divorce, the healthy spouse has to play the key role. Firstly the partner must believe that it is worthwhile to save the marriage (and the partner). The primary requisite is to understand that the manic-depressive cannot control their feelings. The caring spouse must be prepared to expend high doses of patience, understanding and support to protect the marriage.
Well managed long term control of the bipolar symptoms by qualified healthcare professionals can diminish the frequency and severity of manic and depressive episodes and stabilize behavior thereby greatly enhancing the quality of life of the bipolar person, spouse and family. The healthy spouse can contribute enormously by ensuring that treatment is sought whenever necessary and that medication is taken regularly. Any suicidal thoughts, remarks etc by must always be taken seriously and reported to the psychiatrist who may suggest some effective drug treatment.
The caring spouse should be a willing listener to partner's hallucination accounts without fear or judgment no matter how gruesome or unrealistic the details. One important way to lessen the bipolar risks in a marriage is to learn as much as possible about bipolar disorder or manic depression to be aware of what stresses are attributable to the partner being bipolar and how these could lead to divorce if not adequately managed.
Reminding the suffering partner that he is being loved and cared for helps a lot. Identifying events that trigger episodes of mania or depression is also important. Preventing these triggers would reduce the frequency of episodes and hence result in less social tension. To plan beforehand how to deal with a possible episode will help reduce the embarrassment on both sides. Ongoing emotional support and encouragement in treatment will eventually bring down the connection between bipolar disorder and divorce.
When reality doesn't meet our expectation especially in marriage its easy to apportion blame but no matter how bad the situation, changes are possible from both sides if the commitment is there to do so. Generally changes for the better from one partner will inevitably bring improvement from the other. Often what is missing is the "what" and "how to" knowledge. Amazingly our preparation for adulthood instills in us the sanctity of marriage but does little in the way of teaching how to hold it all together when things dont go according to plan. Divorce prevention strategies are sadly missing from our education. To fill this gap are a couple of easily accessible books worth trying. Here is one by marriage expert Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D Save the marriage or Save my marriage Today
Last time I post something in this manner, I was criticized for acting like a therapist and thinking I knew everything, when all I was doing is posting the contents of a URL as per the request of a friend. So I am clarifying this right now. I am not the one saying these things... rather I found the article useful and want to share it.
Bipolar disorder and divorce
An alarming 90 percent of marriages in which one partner is suffering from bipolar disorder end in divorce. The most obvious reason for this disintegration is the substantial social morbidity that results from the bipolar individuals maladaptive behavior. Serious social drawbacks associated with reckless behavior like abuse of alcohol or drugs, accidents from excessive risk taking, financial burden from over spending, inability to remain gainfully employed are have the potential to unravel even the most loving of relationships.
Of course, the daily interactions of manic-depressives can be a threat to any social relationship, including marriage, as bi polar people have trouble containing their emotions. Their response to a usual joke might be shockingly unexpected (an extreme of elation or depression). A word of mild reproof can bring thoughts of suicide. And so, it is not difficult to link bipolar disorder and divorce. Living with someone having the condition is very stressful and teeming with misunderstandings and conflicts. That is why diagnosis of a spouse with bipolar disorder has been called diagnosis for the couple.
Undoing the link between Bipolar Disorder and Divorce
To break the bond between bipolar disorder and divorce, the healthy spouse has to play the key role. Firstly the partner must believe that it is worthwhile to save the marriage (and the partner). The primary requisite is to understand that the manic-depressive cannot control their feelings. The caring spouse must be prepared to expend high doses of patience, understanding and support to protect the marriage.
Well managed long term control of the bipolar symptoms by qualified healthcare professionals can diminish the frequency and severity of manic and depressive episodes and stabilize behavior thereby greatly enhancing the quality of life of the bipolar person, spouse and family. The healthy spouse can contribute enormously by ensuring that treatment is sought whenever necessary and that medication is taken regularly. Any suicidal thoughts, remarks etc by must always be taken seriously and reported to the psychiatrist who may suggest some effective drug treatment.
The caring spouse should be a willing listener to partner's hallucination accounts without fear or judgment no matter how gruesome or unrealistic the details. One important way to lessen the bipolar risks in a marriage is to learn as much as possible about bipolar disorder or manic depression to be aware of what stresses are attributable to the partner being bipolar and how these could lead to divorce if not adequately managed.
Reminding the suffering partner that he is being loved and cared for helps a lot. Identifying events that trigger episodes of mania or depression is also important. Preventing these triggers would reduce the frequency of episodes and hence result in less social tension. To plan beforehand how to deal with a possible episode will help reduce the embarrassment on both sides. Ongoing emotional support and encouragement in treatment will eventually bring down the connection between bipolar disorder and divorce.
When reality doesn't meet our expectation especially in marriage its easy to apportion blame but no matter how bad the situation, changes are possible from both sides if the commitment is there to do so. Generally changes for the better from one partner will inevitably bring improvement from the other. Often what is missing is the "what" and "how to" knowledge. Amazingly our preparation for adulthood instills in us the sanctity of marriage but does little in the way of teaching how to hold it all together when things dont go according to plan. Divorce prevention strategies are sadly missing from our education. To fill this gap are a couple of easily accessible books worth trying. Here is one by marriage expert Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D Save the marriage or Save my marriage Today
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
They say people who marry under 24yrs old have a 80% chance of splitting up, we married at 21 and 22yrs old, we figure if we can beat that 80% chance we can beat this 90% chance too.
there is also this same kindof info on www.lifeloveandbipolar.com too.
The reason for divorce was the usual... unreasonable behaviour.
I guess that is putting it mildly.
And is me or is it offensive to have an ad for "Married but looking?" www.illicitencounter.com coming up on the side bar? I guess it comes up all the time in the infidelity forum, they must hate it over there.
I beleive my wife would have loved me and stood by me, but I don't think I could have let her.
Three times I have been the one to leave my marriage. I gave my husband all sorts of reasons, except the real one, which is that I don't think that he should have to put up with me. I know I wouldn't want to be married to me.
We've had issues of infidelity, anger, abandonoment and suicidal episodes. He's supported me through half a dozen hospitalizations, different meds, ECTs that made me cry because afterward they hurt my head so much. The last time we split up, I basically "ran away from home". I left him, my kids, my home, everything. I was gone for five months. Would you have taken me back? I wouldn't.
But he did. And what he tells my doctor is simple. "When she's not sick, she's a different person".
He's always there to pick up the pieces. He's an alcoholic, just like me, and I think his AA program helps him through the rough spots sometimes.
This is a man who could basically have any woman he wants. He's smart, funny, a hard worker, and he's totally hot, and I mean HOT and in great shape.
I love him though, not his looks, (although that's what caught my attention the first time I met him, LOL!) and his devotion to me and the kids. He treats my son from my first marriage as his own. My stepfather was so mean to me and my sister, so that is very important to me. This can be a selfish disease and I can't even imagine how difficult it must be sometimes for him.
He's a real man, and I haven't met too many of those. He's taken his marriage vows seriously. Or, as he puts it "A deal is a deal".
I love him so much.
this article is good. puts alot of pressure on the spouse though.
So, let's not be so hard on ourselves, ha ha!
Seriously, I think we all love our partners deeply and totally and hopefully they can feel it.
As we busy ourselves worshiping the new gene gods, the real perpetrating factors for mental illness remain conveniently hidden.
Bipolar, almost without exception, is the result of trauma. It is the content of these traumas that many "therapists" wish to avoid. Bipolar is a SOCIAL phenominon, not an individual problem. Our heath care system is criminally myopic in that it fails or refuses to take the holistic view of illness. Scapegoating is easier.
I can back up everything I'm saying with solid research. We (the ones who suffer mental illness) are regarded as little more than "mechanisms" exibiting inconvenient behavioral patterns. The fact is that everything exists in and because of patterns of RELATIONSHIP in the first place. "Mental Illness" then is code for some set of human/environmental relationships. The attempt by "science" to cull out and scapegoat certain members of the social whole is reminiscent of Nazi-ism. I openy challenge ANYONE (professional or otherwise) to debate me on this issue.