Hello all, so i am writing you this from my home. I have bipolar type 2. I got really bad anxiety and a lot of sucidial thoughts so i commited myself to a crisis unit that lets you stay there as long or as. little as you want. It allows you to stay there as long as you promise to 'keep yourself safe', as in don't commit suicide. So i stayed there a day and my thoughts of suicide became much worst so i informed the staff and they advised me to go to the emergency room and i couldn't return until i got the help i needed. So i went to the ER and saw a doctor who was very insensitive to mental health. He thought i wasn't suicidal enough to be sent to a more long term facility. He said since i didn't attempt to take my life and there were just thoughts he couldn't do anything. He asked me if i had a plan and i said yes. Which would make my SI from passif to actif, but in his mind i was still passif because if i really wanted to kill myself i would have tried.
So basically becasue i reached out for help instead of acting upon my feelings i got denied help. So the crisis unit took me back, but suggested that i go home because they couldn't keep an eye on me 24/7 and this wasn't a place for me.
So now i'm at home, with suicidal thoughts, and no help. my family texts me every hour to make sure i didn't commit suicide, my friend who causes me anxiety has invited herself over to spend the next few weeks so i am not alone. I'm just lost..
The flashbacks have made their return for the day.... everyday this happens I find it harder and harder to move myself out. I get dragged deeper down.Something very new happened today and it kind of freaked me out and I was wondering if people could share their input... I had a flashback about something I had not remembered until after it occuring... I really really really want to believe that it...
I have been working on my resume for a few weeks now and that in itself is a job! I think I finally have them down, I made a few for different job types. I have not worked since 2009 ish. My healing has come a long way for me. I am shocked I can even think of going out to find a part time job. It is scary. My brain does not function the way it used to. It often becomes overwhelmed and I have to...