Hello all, so i am writing you this from my home. I have bipolar type 2. I got really bad anxiety and a lot of sucidial thoughts so i commited myself to a crisis unit that lets you stay there as long or as. little as you want. It allows you to stay there as long as you promise to 'keep yourself safe', as in don't commit suicide. So i stayed there a day and my thoughts of suicide became much worst so i informed the staff and they advised me to go to the emergency room and i couldn't return until i got the help i needed. So i went to the ER and saw a doctor who was very insensitive to mental health. He thought i wasn't suicidal enough to be sent to a more long term facility. He said since i didn't attempt to take my life and there were just thoughts he couldn't do anything. He asked me if i had a plan and i said yes. Which would make my SI from passif to actif, but in his mind i was still passif because if i really wanted to kill myself i would have tried.
So basically becasue i reached out for help instead of acting upon my feelings i got denied help. So the crisis unit took me back, but suggested that i go home because they couldn't keep an eye on me 24/7 and this wasn't a place for me.
So now i'm at home, with suicidal thoughts, and no help. my family texts me every hour to make sure i didn't commit suicide, my friend who causes me anxiety has invited herself over to spend the next few weeks so i am not alone. I'm just lost..
Yesterday I had the luxury of a lot of time to read posts on here.........for the first time in my life I didn't feel like I was a weirdo......when I introduced myself I told you about what my dd's biological father had been doing to her, that's the worst because it's not me taking the pain....it's my kid....but my previous experiences have been signifcant as well......there isn't much that...
Can't seem to go to sleep right now so I'm up listening to music and posting this. Anybody else up want to message me I'm bored.