Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Late last week I spoke with my TDoc about this big issue that changed my life and why I ended up with a huge amount of guilt and shame. The guilt was so much that almost all systems in my body broken down all at the same time. It was so bad that I ended up with an irregular heartbeat. The effects of the guilt are now permanent in my body. But, any way I told this all to my TDoc. That resulted in a required session the next day (on a Sat). We spoke for almost two hours. Now that it is out, I am feeling the effects very depressed. I'm away at a conference but all day I was thinking about what happened and ended up being very suicidal. I seriously considered getting up, leaving and showing up at the local ER or calling the TDoc. I am still unstable. All of the events are back now and I am stuck again down in that morass. I gave up my power to wall this off to the TDoc. She said that we will talk about a great deal. So I have nothing to look forward to but going over this several times. The guilt also has pushed my PTSD back to the foreground. Can't sleep, keep seeing the bodies and blood laid out before me. I can't make it, this guilt and PTSD.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
These things don't like the light. They will kick and scream and do their best to hurt you and persuade you to give in and either kill yourself, or bury them down and ignore them, at an expense I know you know.
I went vegetarian rawist for many years. Couldn't turn on a stove, couldn't use a toaster because there is a smell in things cooking and baking that reminded me of superheated lead and bodies. That singed meat smell.
If you feel unable to cope and need to go to emerg I hope that you will and if you need your therapist to go slower I would let her know this as well
Another hug and a blessing.....xo
I never would have been so descriptive if I thought you wouldn't get it. I've actually never said what I said to you anywhere online.
Just so you know you're not alone. You won a significant victory today, when you called your therapist rather than continue working on your note. I really respect you for that. You did a great thing!
Your life is important and your health and safety have to come first....the rest will fall into place.
How do I know this? I've been where you now find yourself and I could not get well continuing to work my crazy job. Once I decided to leave the tumblers of the universe started clicking to help me get to the next step....