Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I went to the tdoc today and spent the whole time talking about something I wrote in a journal. I pretty much wrote how I get annoyed if people tell me that I'm attractive....and how, speaking generally, I don't have the time or energy to deal with people whose main goal is to sleep with me.
Is it just me? Or is there anyone else out there who is struggling with the same thing?
Is it just me? Or is there anyone else out there who is struggling with the same thing?
People who comment favorably on your looks almost always say it thinking that it will cause a positive response in you. Their intentions are to make you feel good.
If you smile, say 'thank you' and start talking about something else, you're feeling of annoyance might subside right away as the attention is focused on something else. Or if it's someone you have no interest in talking to, smile (if you can manage to), say 'thank you' and walk away, if you can. For really hard cases, say 'thank you' and say 'I really don't want to talk right now.'
Let's face it. If you're attractive, people are going to comment on it from time to time. I suggest you respond politely because extending a compliment is socially a nice thing to do. And so is replying in kind.
Our looks are our first impression. Whether you are good lucking or ugly, it is only over knowing someone for a period of time that people will learn to value (or not to value) you for who you are inside.
And, to a great extent, you can only accurately judge them by getting to know them a bit. If you reject everyone who tells you that you are looking nice, you may be passing up some really worthwhile people who would be nice to know!!
Yes!!!! It's annoying when a lot of guys hit on you and it's obvious that they have no interest whatsoever in what you are like personally!!!! (Ah!!! I remember those days, LOL!)
But don't take it out on everyone!!!! Maybe try to separate the two things!!!!
By all means, get annoyed when a guy hits on you hard, without first trying to get to know you a bit. It's rude and it's crude.
But as for the rest of the people, both male and female, if it's a simple bit of flattery and they are not trying to get anything from you by saying it, try to take it in the spirit in which it was meant!!!
I used to get embarrassed when people would compliment me, but I never got annoyed. I learned to smile, say thank you, and quickly move things on from there!!!! At least it got the moment over with as soon as possible!!!
I know that you have a valid point. My daughter struggles with this.
I guess that you have to develop strong, strong but polite boundaries.
No--I wouldn't know, but my sister Meredith, my neice Carol and my daughter know what it is like to be "TV" like and yea--It can be a drag.
A lady I work with here uses her personality and intellect to agument her social interactions but then acts unassuming and self secure and she just develops her own style. My sister and my neice are like that too--friendly but they know when to put their guard up.
Cathleen--God bless her--doesn't know how to handle the atrractiveness issues at all, but from what I have seen, personality, intellect, some humility with self security and strong boundaries seems to work.
Your homely, middle aged compatriot,
Ekatepnha Kehhebha Cted
That being said....it really does annoy me to no end if people like me more than just as a friend. Maybe it's b/c I can't stand the idea of having sex. Maybe it's b/c I don't believe a single compliment that comes out of someone's mouth. Maybe it's emotional scarring from past relationshits.
I'm not claiming to be one of the "beautiful" people where my appearance is superior to that of others. In fact, I don't find myself to be beautiful at all. It would just be nice to have friends who see me as an equal.
Anyway- But I get what you mean- Be my friend for who I am, not because you want SEX! It gets really old, All my males friends ever wanted- and the reason they started being friends with me when to get with me.
My god, my bestie of 6 years is still barking up that tree, though I will Never sleep with him though I love him deeply as my best friend ever, but come on- give it up already!