Pagan, you are much to young to be thinking these things!! One of my many fears is winding up a bitter old crone so I guard against it. I just think you could never be like that if you tried! You are much too caring now matter what you may think! HUGS!!

aint gonna happen sunshine cos you're stuck with all of us for starters!!!! we'll keep you smiling for a long time yet so don't worry when you don't need to. big fat hugs!

I am sorry you're having a bad day Pagan. I think about the future a lot too. You are very kind to everyone how you appreciate everything and everyone! I worry about being a burden on my family and when it's time to go into an old folks home, I worry about being able to afford it -and if so what will I will be able to afford! I don't mean to take over the post - but I think if you're thinking about this kind of thing now (and futurizing is so much about anxiety I think) I think you have the presence of mind to choose who you will be when you become that age! Peace to you Pagan!!

Nester and Irishthank you both so much for such thoughtful comments. I wish I saw what you see in me. Self esteem is something I am working on with my therapist so maybe someday I will see those things too.

Thanks Mark, as always a very thoughtful and insightful comment. Thanks a bunch man.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down today.

You seem to be a compassionate person so I don't think you need to worry about being a "bitter old man".

Big hug for you sweetie.... Well I am for sure going to be a crusty old bird and kick some butt

I often have heard Dr Phil say that 'we choose how to be in the world' and although I don't totally agree with him to an extent I do and he goes on to say that we have to change that which we don't like about ourselves

Since I've known you on here Pagan I see that you work really hard on making the changes that you want in order to be happier with the person that you are by meds, therapy, ETC etc... We have it harder then some and it might be easier to just say to hell with it but that's not what we do

Unfortunately it isn't a quick fix... It takes a lot of effort over time... I think you're doing wonderfully by doing what you're doing and you sure offer a lot of support and kindness to your DS buddies

I hope tomorrow will be a brighter day for you... Big hug...xo

Anger is often called a secondary emotion due to there being a root cause.. Perhaps finding out what triggers you will help you to find some peace with it P... Anger management can be helpful as well..x

http://healthypsych.com/psychology-tools-anger-management-what-is-anger/