What kind of an insane system is that? I think THEY are the ones with a personality disorder.

You poor thing being run around an fed this pile of bullshit. I guess you are in the same place all of us are really, on our OWN struggling.

The saddest part is their seeming lack of compassion fort you.

Borderline is quite horrible...painful, scary and effed up. I know it well. I'm getting along better these days.

Don't give up. Pester the buggers for help.

(((((hugs)))))

I was labeled BPD a while ago. It's one that I've been fighting. I tell them to pull out their DSM and we'll go head to head, because there isn't a criteria available for BPD that can't be explained by one of the symptoms of my other disorders. The diagnosis is just plain wrong. And I do not accept it. I do not have a disorder of my personality. I've had friends who are social workers (LISW) for over 20 years tell me that there is no way I'm BPD. But that is my story not yours.

Your story just sucks. You should have been on that waiting list a long time ago. DBT, which is excellent treatment, originally designed for BPD and now used for other disorders as well, is wonderful for coping strategies. Fair??? Not in the least.. That is one part of your health system that I do not envy. The waiting list for non-emergent treatment. And the lack of adequate mental health treatment. Search the internet. There are websites with DBT skills listed on them. Research the treatment. Study it. Get books. Then when the group opens up, you are going to be top of the class.

I get there is a fair amount of "send them away and see if they come back" in areas of UK's mental health system because basically it is groaning under the massive demand while getting cut by government.

That said, you do now have a diagnosis. I wouldn't really worry about the label "personality disorder" because in a way it's as poor a term as "mood disorder" for bipolar.

I hear you on the having to wait for treatment - before my diagnosis I was on the waiting list for group therapy which was years and not what i wanted.

But now you do have a framework to work from and that is definately a step forward.

I'd suggest you get advice from here and Personality Disorder board - I'm sure there are DBT self help books - I know they exist for CBT.

im not putting myself on the list.

i disagree with the diagnosis ardently. and i know the refusal to agree with this diagnosis makes me look borderline....

but everything i do is now shadowed by borderline. so i'd rather disagree and perhaps be in denial than accept this attack !

Society seems to have a problem with free thinkers--I dont' know why. And then, society seems to grab a hold of young men and women and it wants to pidegonhole them.

If my older four siblings-M.M. S., C.C.S., J.B. and R.S.L. were young people living today, they would ALL be put on medicine and all be in some sort of youth facility because psychiatry has gone too far.

You are intelligent and outspoken and somehow that translates into being "rebellious" I guess.

Of course, when one is at university, one does have to put up with arrogant professors and does know how to fake friendliness and civility at times and that's hard because often, you will find yourself knowing more than the teacher.

The Big 4 are older now and know how to deal with people who are insecure, who are foolish and who are arrogant, but there was a time when they were caught for being "smart." They were lucky enough to live during a time during the 1970's when America (and probably Europe) was liberal and it was still expected that a young person was a young person.

All I can say that I know of to do is to be as independent as possible (like the folks on Icarus), to be as business like as possible) and to follow the advice of the folks on this forum.

The borderline stuff does get easier, and it may be that you don't even have borderline. Remember that Child Post Traumatic Stress can often look like borderline but it isn't. Remember also that you could have the tendencies of something and not have that actual thing.

For example, my son might have the tendencies of autism, but not have it, or I have tendencies which look like borderline but I am not necessarily borderline.

Finally, I do know a few folks who are mildly borderline and they live good lives.

I have more thoughts about borderline but this may not be the place for it, but I also think that borderline is a label that psychiatry sticks on young ladies who are coming of age. There is some discrimination with that. I get really angry at the establishment for how they treat either gender coming of age--they dismiss the hardships that it takes when a person is growing, maturing and discovering themselves.

My sister in law C'mn H. had to stay on the periphery of social life and she got into the hotel side of things and she is now recieving an award for her work as an executor of hotel management.

Oftentimes with people who are really smart one has to find a niche to be in and a profession to follow so that one can be protected by that profession. This is what my sibs had to do.

My cousin wasn't quite as protected as my siblings and she is on disability, but she plays the organ for various churches. She is a Unitarian and she stays with the intellectuals, the art people and scholarly types to keep herself sane.

The therapy does work and eventually the PTSD stuff can be gotten under control.

So, Mush, I would study the system carefully and navigate it, using it to my advantage. People who are ignorant or foolish are going to make you angry, but somehow, you will have to be calm when dealing with the ignorant and with the foolish.

Remember that you are not ignorant or foolish and that you have the power to lead, manage or at the very least work as a team. There are lots of professions like being a curator of a museum, being a public information officer, a paralegal and eventually laywer, a computer person in information systems or an instructor for a junior college or even what C'mn did with her stuff as management in a hotel situation. There are many things that you can do.

The young people on ICarus often complain about the system getting to them and so it is important to know the laws and to own your own power as a person. Icaristas often complain about crying at a train station and some bloke calling the cops. So, owning yourself and your own power, being soft spoken, emulating a calm business like tone and knowing the laws will help.

Knowing that--young people of either gender get pidgeonholed and forced into a label and this last ditch effort by society to produce cookie cutter clerical workers or what have you--don't let that happen to you.

You are a free thinker. You are too valuable.

i really don't have words for this... everyone deserves better treatment than this.

this is...


(i have no words!)

mush you seem so reasonable, i am sorry you are having such an ass of a time!

should read : "SO sorry!"

((((mush))))

I've been wondering how you are honey, for the life of me I do not understand what the hell these people are doing! I'm so sorry your having to go through this on top of being symptomatic.

Much love for you mush, I hope things get better for you, you deserve to feel tons better. Hang tight honey, your one tough cookie!

xo

I'm sorry you're so upset Mush.. BPD is simply another disorder that people suffer from greatly.. There's a cause and effect.. Now that there is a diagnosis if you do accept it you can work towards healing..
Is there any type of cognitive therapy available or groups?..It can help a lot..
Meds can help with symptoms.. There are a lot of people on here who have been diagnosed with BPD.. I hope that you won't let the label stop you from seeking treatment (if that is indeed what you have)... People suffer with this as much as they do bipolar
Big hug of comfort for you sweetie and a blessing...xo

They've found DBT helps a lot with bipolar diagnosis too. So it's not just for BPD. Maybe try it and see what you think. Couldn't hurt anything.

Sorry you've had such a hard time.

Thanks guys your support never fails to overwhelm me. I have none here in real life.

It saddens me so much. Life shouldn't be this painful :(