Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Part vent and part explanation. The past year I have been around lurking alot. Before that I was pretty active...always with the same sweet baby chiweenie as my avi. As I come and go I see my friends list dwindling and it makes me sad but I have been unable to be active.
My mom has had 7 surgeries in the past 14 months. 3 surgeries for cancer -including removing all of the lymph nodes in her groin. 4 surgeries for a pacemaker because of congestive heart failure. #1 put the pacemaker in #2 one of the leads came off and was poking into her heart and causing it to bleed into the sac around the heart #3 change the lead...the pacemaker pocket became infected #4 take it out and put it into the other side of her chest. Since it had to be moved to the right side of the chest they couldn't get all the leads back in so she could possibly need to have the 4th lead placed but they will have to open her chest and place that lead onto the outside of the heart.
Then I got a call Thursday that they found a mass in her lung when it was just supposed to be a routine chest xray checking to make sure her plueral effusion was gone. In radiology terms that means more than 3 centimeters. So something has come up and is that big since October 11th. I'm just done. Emotionally. Physically. Mentality. She lives with me and my husband. She is my rock, my mentor and most importantly my best friend.
We had months of home iv antibiotics that I gave her. Too many dr appointments that I've lost count. Oxygen and wound vac care. Pneumonia and plueral effusion. I feel guilty that I said "I can't do this again" to her. It isn't about me. She is only 55. She is a fighter. We will do this, especially when she looked at me and said "who else am I going to do this with?"
I guess I just wanted to say thank you to those who didn't remove me...I'm sorry I was unable to do more for those in need...I am a work in progress.
I am doing the best I can to not fall into the darkness of depression. I come here and read daily...sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a tear. I want to scream and cry and I am holding on to my sanity with faith and the smiles that I share with mom. This journey is hard and whether it lasts a month or 20 years...it will be over too soon.
As is life.
Candy
My mom has had 7 surgeries in the past 14 months. 3 surgeries for cancer -including removing all of the lymph nodes in her groin. 4 surgeries for a pacemaker because of congestive heart failure. #1 put the pacemaker in #2 one of the leads came off and was poking into her heart and causing it to bleed into the sac around the heart #3 change the lead...the pacemaker pocket became infected #4 take it out and put it into the other side of her chest. Since it had to be moved to the right side of the chest they couldn't get all the leads back in so she could possibly need to have the 4th lead placed but they will have to open her chest and place that lead onto the outside of the heart.
Then I got a call Thursday that they found a mass in her lung when it was just supposed to be a routine chest xray checking to make sure her plueral effusion was gone. In radiology terms that means more than 3 centimeters. So something has come up and is that big since October 11th. I'm just done. Emotionally. Physically. Mentality. She lives with me and my husband. She is my rock, my mentor and most importantly my best friend.
We had months of home iv antibiotics that I gave her. Too many dr appointments that I've lost count. Oxygen and wound vac care. Pneumonia and plueral effusion. I feel guilty that I said "I can't do this again" to her. It isn't about me. She is only 55. She is a fighter. We will do this, especially when she looked at me and said "who else am I going to do this with?"
I guess I just wanted to say thank you to those who didn't remove me...I'm sorry I was unable to do more for those in need...I am a work in progress.
I am doing the best I can to not fall into the darkness of depression. I come here and read daily...sometimes with a smile and sometimes with a tear. I want to scream and cry and I am holding on to my sanity with faith and the smiles that I share with mom. This journey is hard and whether it lasts a month or 20 years...it will be over too soon.
As is life.
Candy
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Sigh. Looks like its going to be a bumpy road for both of you. I guess all you can do is hang on and ride through it.... Good luck.
Hang in there!
Hugz!
Raeyne
((((BIG HUG))))) Glad to know you're still finding strength here, as we do care and want to offer support to you always!!!
You and your family are in my prayers....xo