Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Most of you probably have subjects that you don't like to talk about. You may think, If I talk about it, it might happen." I'm experiencing this now. I'm going to tell what is scaring me so much. Here it goes.
I have told in past post that I lost my husband to stomach cancer around 2.5 yrs ago. I'm still grieving. It doesn't come out in the ways I thought it would but it is grief.
On Sunday a friend of mine told me she has stage 2 breast cancer. I looked it up and found that it has a very high survival rate which is good. She is a fairly new friend(less than a year) but I don't have many friends around so this very scary to me. We meet at an art group she started in Meetups.
I don't know if any of you remember my post about my son's grandma who we live with going to hospital for trouble breathing. She was back to her regular self a week after getting home. There was one other think though. While in hospital they found a mass around one of her ovaries. She goes to her gyno. doc this Fri. to have it checked out. I know this could be a lot things and not neccessarily cancer but with everything that has happened to it is hard not to be scared. She is also a friend and I have known her for a little over 20 yrs. We have helped each other out during this time.
I've mentioned this before that I can't afford the rent on the apartment without her. I not trying to sound insensitive, I'm just being realistic. I know I will have to move which I'm tired of doing. I have been looking into low income housing but my son is getting a suvivor's benefit until he turns 18 in July. I also have a some money in college fund for him. I want to be a good mom and help him get a good education. Because of the 2 latter things, I'm a little over qualified for a low income apartment place I spoke to recenctly. I was advised to wait intil May or June just before he turns 18. Also, rent went alot around where I live because rich people want to live here. That's what I read. There is locating to another state but that is scary, too. I've lived in Oregon since I was 10 mons. old. My dad and some other family is here. Plus I want to keep my son in the same school until he graduates in a few months.
Some say I'm worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. Having my monthly visitor doesn't help either. My brain loves to catastraphize. I'm doing my best to keep it together and function but it's hard. I don't know if I should go somewhere to recover or just stay where I am. Not many of hospitals here have psych. wards. I was in a psych. ward many years ago and it okay. The people were nice but it would get dull sitting in same place for days. Another thing I thought was weird is that they didn't try diagnose what was really wrong with me or see if I was on the right meds. This happened a few months before I was diagnosed as bipolar. This is why I don't think this would be the best option for me but many they have changed since then.
My brain is tired and doesn't want to think about stuff but can't help but do so. My body feeling tired, too. I love my family and friends so I don't want to hurt myself. I'm doing everything I know of to get better. I don't want burden them with my problems. I felt I needed to get this out there because I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Hugs.
I have told in past post that I lost my husband to stomach cancer around 2.5 yrs ago. I'm still grieving. It doesn't come out in the ways I thought it would but it is grief.
On Sunday a friend of mine told me she has stage 2 breast cancer. I looked it up and found that it has a very high survival rate which is good. She is a fairly new friend(less than a year) but I don't have many friends around so this very scary to me. We meet at an art group she started in Meetups.
I don't know if any of you remember my post about my son's grandma who we live with going to hospital for trouble breathing. She was back to her regular self a week after getting home. There was one other think though. While in hospital they found a mass around one of her ovaries. She goes to her gyno. doc this Fri. to have it checked out. I know this could be a lot things and not neccessarily cancer but with everything that has happened to it is hard not to be scared. She is also a friend and I have known her for a little over 20 yrs. We have helped each other out during this time.
I've mentioned this before that I can't afford the rent on the apartment without her. I not trying to sound insensitive, I'm just being realistic. I know I will have to move which I'm tired of doing. I have been looking into low income housing but my son is getting a suvivor's benefit until he turns 18 in July. I also have a some money in college fund for him. I want to be a good mom and help him get a good education. Because of the 2 latter things, I'm a little over qualified for a low income apartment place I spoke to recenctly. I was advised to wait intil May or June just before he turns 18. Also, rent went alot around where I live because rich people want to live here. That's what I read. There is locating to another state but that is scary, too. I've lived in Oregon since I was 10 mons. old. My dad and some other family is here. Plus I want to keep my son in the same school until he graduates in a few months.
Some say I'm worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. Having my monthly visitor doesn't help either. My brain loves to catastraphize. I'm doing my best to keep it together and function but it's hard. I don't know if I should go somewhere to recover or just stay where I am. Not many of hospitals here have psych. wards. I was in a psych. ward many years ago and it okay. The people were nice but it would get dull sitting in same place for days. Another thing I thought was weird is that they didn't try diagnose what was really wrong with me or see if I was on the right meds. This happened a few months before I was diagnosed as bipolar. This is why I don't think this would be the best option for me but many they have changed since then.
My brain is tired and doesn't want to think about stuff but can't help but do so. My body feeling tired, too. I love my family and friends so I don't want to hurt myself. I'm doing everything I know of to get better. I don't want burden them with my problems. I felt I needed to get this out there because I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Hugs.
Grieving is a tricky thing -- it's painful, sometimes debilitating and extremely confusing -- all those feelings unleashed. I didn't really know how to grieve until a therapist directed me to an example that made it crystal clear just how to do it. I hope that happens for you.
Worrying is just not good for me on any level. I decided that if I was going to throw energy into worrying I was probably neglected things that I actually have a bit of control over. I'm a Christian and realized that worrying was sinful in that I wasn't putting my faith and trust in God. That little guilt trip did wonders for helping me put things into perspective.
I'm thinking of you as you navigate grief and all the other challenges in your life. Hang in there!
I'm glad you have found comfort in Christianity. For now I will wait for God to show me where I need to be. Hugs.