Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
of getting better.
I want to get better but only if it lasts. I'm worried that if I get better I will lose every thing again when it all goes down hill.
Some times I think maybe I could work now, but then I crash and burn shortly after. I know how every one thinks about working. You should work no matter what right? I just got lectured from pizza guys about working. One of them supposedly had schizophrenia. But he only worked two days. Well good for him he found a job that is flexible enough for him! Those jobs are just laying around right? I'm practically tripping on them!
The thing is I question if I'm being lazy or not? I know I can't take stress of any kind, but still if I pushed myself I might be able to do something. But I just don't know. I know I look alright to people, I look normal, or I look lazy to them but I just wasn't cut out to be like every one else. I need a job that is flexible to my needs and right now there isn't one like that.
Why can't I be one of the lucky ones who is so talented that my bi polar doesn't even matter! That I can still be successful despite my bi polar? I do have some talent and I want to put it to good use!
But I admit I'm scared to even try because I've had my dream yanked out from under me before. And I've even lost every thing before. I don't want to start over again. I just got furniture finally after having nothing for years. I regret even having furniture because now I have something to lose again! I don't want to feel like I'm going to lose every thing I have all the time, I want to feel secure and confident.
I'm not really sure if I can or can't work, I'm scared to try and find out I can't.
I want to get better but only if it lasts. I'm worried that if I get better I will lose every thing again when it all goes down hill.
Some times I think maybe I could work now, but then I crash and burn shortly after. I know how every one thinks about working. You should work no matter what right? I just got lectured from pizza guys about working. One of them supposedly had schizophrenia. But he only worked two days. Well good for him he found a job that is flexible enough for him! Those jobs are just laying around right? I'm practically tripping on them!
The thing is I question if I'm being lazy or not? I know I can't take stress of any kind, but still if I pushed myself I might be able to do something. But I just don't know. I know I look alright to people, I look normal, or I look lazy to them but I just wasn't cut out to be like every one else. I need a job that is flexible to my needs and right now there isn't one like that.
Why can't I be one of the lucky ones who is so talented that my bi polar doesn't even matter! That I can still be successful despite my bi polar? I do have some talent and I want to put it to good use!
But I admit I'm scared to even try because I've had my dream yanked out from under me before. And I've even lost every thing before. I don't want to start over again. I just got furniture finally after having nothing for years. I regret even having furniture because now I have something to lose again! I don't want to feel like I'm going to lose every thing I have all the time, I want to feel secure and confident.
I'm not really sure if I can or can't work, I'm scared to try and find out I can't.
Sorry about my spelling.
I'm working right now, but not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep it up. After coming out of the hospital, I'm a bit more fragile this go round.
I'm trying.
But I look "normal" to people. I can even drive unless I am pissed off or depressed. I dont handle myself with store clerks when I am pissed off and cant contain myself but on the most part I appear normal.
But I cant use a Xerox machine, meds screw up my typing, rudimentary computer stuff is my bag.
So I dont work.
I found some volunteer that is low low low key. I say no to parts I dont want to do and yes to partsand I do want tto do. Everything is close to my house and I have lots of back up if I cant do my "job".
So I do what I can even though I am not bring home a paycheck, or have alot to talk about to people.
But I think there is a valid point that you just cannot jump back into a completely different lifestyle. You might need to start out with just a few hours a week. When I started school again, I took one course at a time, and the anxiety was through the roof. After two years, I started 2 courses a semester and did not think I would make it. Last year I went to 3 courses a semester. But slow and steady wins the race. I am back down to 2 courses, with only one year to go.
I think if I could work I would do the same. Start slow and work my way up to where ever I could be comfortable. As for being lazy - bipolar does not have lazy as a symptom last time I checked. Anxiety, though for sure. Change is hard.
Are you really wanting a job, or just feeling guilty because of those pizza guys? Don't let them get to you. Only you know your own limits. Hugs
I was feeling guilty for one thing. I have no idea if I could work or not, I know I couldn't just jump into full time work that would be too much. I might think about ticket to work program. Or even some kind of self employment work.
But no I don't have to work at least not yet. But I do feel guilty.