Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Advice on who to handle a loved one’s episodes

JennyH.
JennyH.

Hi! I just joined this group. I am looking for advice on how to handle and talk to a loved one who has been very erratic for the last 1.5 months. We had been going to therapy together to work on trust & communication issues and out of the blue 1.5 months ago he started accusing me of cheating on him, seeing messages that weren't real on my phone, hearing things that didn't happen. His mood swings are fast and erratic, one minute wanting to do 5 major things in a day the next unable to get out of bed all day and saying he wishes he could die. He fluctuates from being angry, verbally aggressive, to sad, to loving, back to angry etc etc multiple times in one day. He constantly says it's me, I have the problem, I am the problem, there is nothing wrong with him  etc etc. I don't know how to talk to him and address what is going on. I tell him I am extremely worried about him and that it might be good to get a basic health check up on vitamin levels etc. He is extremely paranoid of being brainwashed & poisoned as well as recently for the last few weeks expressing that he thinks I want to cause him physical harm. He can't sleep at night because he is consumed with nightmares about me trying to killing him or cheating on him. I talked to my therapist about all of this and her reply was that it sounded like he might have Bipolar I and was in a manic episode. I have been doing a lot of reading and it seems like he might have the rapid cycling. Since he now believes I have cheated on him and want to cause him physical harm, he has no trust with me and anything I say or suggestions I offer. I really worried about him and need advice on when & how to talk to him about what is going on, how do approach this? Thank you.

CatinMichigan
CatinMichigan
Are you seeing your therapist together still? If so, have your therapist address the issue. Maybe he'll listen to her about her thoughts about his possible Bipolar diagnoses. Do you think he'll take her seriously or not though? Maybe he'd do better with a male therapist? I'd say take him to a psychiatrist for an actual diagnosis, but it doesn't sound like he'd be receptive to that. I don't know what else to say, but he does need help. If he's an actual danger to himself or others then you could have him committed to a psychiatric hospital. I know that sounds drastic, but it may be the only way to get him stable. Good luck and my prayers and thoughts are with you.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I would try and get him to go to emergency or if he refuses get him into see his doctor ASAP....

Regardless of what his disorder is this sounds like extreme psychosis and he needs help now....


There is good help to be had for psychosis.... If he refuses I would call his family right away if your able to

Gentle hug.... I know that this is frightening but there is really good help for whatever disorder he may have but he NEEDS to be seen by an MD and start treatment.....xo
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
If he threatens to hurt himself call 911
JennyH.
JennyH.
Thank you for you reply & thoughts & prayers. It’s been a really tough situation. We had started going to the therapist together but he missed his last appointment and fluctuates between saying he is still willing to go and saying he will never go again, or that the only way he will go is to hear me finally “tell him the truth” and then fears that I have “brainwashed “ our therapist. I tried to talk to him this morning about it again be because he brought it up and seemed receptive which ended in him screaming in rage at me and telling me he was never talking to me again and we were over. I know it’s the illness but it’s extremely hard to handle and not get depressed and loose hope on how to handle and figure this out. I can’t seem to find the right way or time to say anything, because anything I do or say is twisted into something that it isn’t. The situation is extremely complicated because he has PTSD as well from trauma in his 20’s where a family member was molesting a nephew and He tried to address it with his family and they called him “crazy” and put him in an institution. I fact checked and it was true, the charges against the family member when it finally came out. So he is hyper vigilant on “listening to his gut” and not letting anyone brainwash him. It’s such a mess and super disheartening. I don’t know how to address with him that this isn’t normal and I’m really worried about him.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
At this point therapy is a moot point Jenny.... He's really ill and needs medical help.....

It could be PTSD I have no idea but he's ill
JennyH.
JennyH.
Thank you for your reply ❤️
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Therapist aren't "Dr's" as in Psychiatrist's and they can't treat the sick part of of his brain that's causing all the complicated issues. He needs medication and attention of medical Dr.'s. He needs to be seen at an ER or be seen by a Psychiatrist ASAP.

The Therapist can't help what is wrong with him right now.
JennyH.
JennyH.
Thank you for your reply. I am going to research Psychiatrists in our area. I really don’t know how to get him to go, he refuses to even go for a normal check up and says there is absolutely nothing wrong. He has been blaming everything on me & our relationship which is really stressful and hard. I don’t know how to get through to him.
irishwriter
irishwriter
call his GP, explain the situation and try to get him to do a housecall. this situation is a ticking bomb which needs to be addressed now for your personal safety (mental and physical). if he will not go for help try to get the help to him and as Jan suggested maybe enlist the help of family or friends. escalation could be very fast so please act now for both of you. hugs and good thoughts to you.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I agree to call his GP if you can find out who it is Jenny and encourage him to see the doctor
If he has any family members who he might trust I would call them as well
JennyH.
JennyH.
Great suggestions, thank you. Unfortunately he does not have a GP and is not close to any of his family members except his mom, who I have not met yet. I did find her on facebook, I have considered reaching out to her but I don’t know if I can trust her, or what her take is .... I have come to realize that I think this has been going on for some time and he was able to hide it/function normally until the mania and psychosis. He has Also stated that “previous partners” have teamed up with his mom etc.
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Unfortunately if your in the U.S, even if he had a GP you won't find one that will do a "housecall" and if you're not married all of his medical info. is confidential and they won't even talk to you about him.

If he starts talking about harming you, anyone else or himself, or starts hallucinating or having delusional thoughts or outbursts, you can call 911 and have the police come out for a Mental Health evaluation and 5150 hold. They will take him to the hospital for a 72 hr. Mental Health evaluation. He will then be seen by a Psychiatrist and can get the meds and help that he needs.

There is not really much you personally can do for him beyond that, and he needs the help.
JennyH.
JennyH.
Ok thank you
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Jenny that sounds harsh and scary....and you're probably scared he'll leave you if you ever do something like that....but he sounds pretty "mentally sick" and he needs the help.

You don't have to respond, I'm just saying.....sometimes you have to help someone against their will to help them get better. Him being upset with you for a while, would be better than him being dead or hurting someone forever....

Take care.
JennyH.
JennyH.
I understand and appreciate you information & help. I’m hoping it does not come to that but if it does it is good to know what to do. Thank you.
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