So I returned to my previous pdoc after getting angry with the new pdoc's therapist. Dee (not her real name) is a very compassionate nurse practitioner whom I've known for several years. Today she gave me a big surprise after I returned to her from Dr. S: she says I have a personality disorder. I may be mistaken,but I thought there was no cure for a personality disorder. Dee says the cure is psychotherapy,and assigned me a tdoc from her office. This may sound weird,but I find it to be sort of a relief that I supposedly require therapy and,with this pdoc at least, have no choice. I have a deep-seated fear of other people's anger (and my own,if that makes any sense). It's different from the mood swings of bipolar. The fact that I switched doctors and then switched back in such a short time,because of a perceived offense,bears that out. I only know I've been struggling with repressed anger for as long as I can remember. I'd thought that 22 years of therapy would have at least made a dent,but evidently not. My counselors over the years have mostly done damage control without addressing the core issues,according to Dee. This will be difficult because (again,this will seem weird) my oldest sister doesn't allow me to talk about the past; if I do,or say anything even remotely negative about Dad,she gets angry and stops speaking to me. I feel like I can't live without her approval,because she's always been like a mother figure to me (our Mom died when I was very young; Char was in her late 20s at the time). I only know I've always been fearful and that it seems to be getting worse the older I get. I sure hope I can get some relief.