Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
people may find this a bit controversial, but I really want to get this off my chest. be warned.
when things get really bad I fantasize about suicide. over the years, I've come to realize that it's just thoughts. I never make plans. I never take actions. no matter how bad my depression gets, it's just thoughts. It's like an odd sort of mental comfort. I know logically that I don't actually want to die, I just want to escape my depression, and that's my mind's silly solution.
Here comes the controversial bit. now that I've tried weed, that is my minds new, go-to, depresion escape solution. instead of my mind fixating on suicide, it fixates on getting high. I wrote "my mind" because I don't really have control of this mental "reflex".
I think this is a much safer reflex. getting high is way better than hurting myself. It's not perfect by any means, but it is better. I know substance abuse is a huge problem in the mental health comunity, and I urge anyone going through hard times consider healthier solutions to weed or whatever gets you high. Maybe I will find this new state to be negative over all. Time will tell. For now though, I feel safer.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
As for your marijuana escape and you saying you have no choice over your "mind" well that's just an excuse to let you do what you want. We all have a choice, we all have control, we just choose whether or not to exercise it. You can choose to go to your Pdoc and talk to him about more effective meds. You can choose to go to talk Therapy and work on the issues that fuel your Depression. You can choose to learn Coping Skills to deal with the Symptoms of BiPolar so that when they hit, you can deal with them without getting high. There are all kinds of choices.
Choosing to get yourself addicted to a substance that is going to inevitably make you and your mind make bad choices as well as interrupt how your BP meds work....is definitely a bad choice.
I had a brother who chose to treat his Depression with marijuana and he did for many years, and he killed himself 38 days ago...
I have to agree with OldeC on this.... My estranged husband was Bipolar 1 and abused substances and sadly committed suicide at the end of 2018
I would at least discuss this with your pdoc..... Another hug....xo
I do need to talk to my doctor about adjusting my meds though. I set up an appointment for Monday. I'm glad I read this when I did, because I kept forgetting until they were closed.
I've been using them for 31 years and I've been teaching them for the last 20 years.....and they do work.
And just to be clear, I don't just randomly throw out things that I've not lived. I have 5 Suicide attempts in my past. It took 3 and a 1/2 months and 39 sessions of ECT in 2010, to get my brain back to a "medication reactive" state and me to a Stable point where I wasn't so Suicidally Depressed 24/7 that I cared less whether I lived, ate, slept or even moved during the day. So I know what you're talking about, I've been there many, many times over the last 31 years. And I got the jackpot I also get full Manic Episodes....life is fun.
Low doses of Lithium are not normally used for Suicide Ideation/Attempt reduction.
i once asked the women in a sober house which was a shelter for homeless also i asked them if they could imagine me abusing substances they all shouted NO so that is my reasons for not even trying they saw my behavior off of drugs and added to my mania i would be totally out of control the little that i have