Today I had to go to the ER with a panic attack. It felt like a huge fist was squeezing my chest and I was having trouble drawing a good breath. When I was in the ambulance they gave me oxygen and I just sucked in all the air that I could. It felt wonderful.They took me to the ER where I was evaluated and then discharged because they had no grounds to put me in the psych hospital. I'll never forget that feeling,of not being able to breathe properly. My dad had emphysema and now I have a small idea of what he went through.But I'm back home and everything is the same. I was able to get a few hours of sleep after my sister and brother-in-law took me home. I'm not tired,but I feel good for some reason. I told the therapist who evaluated me that I feel like I really need two things: a good cry,the kind where you feel the emotional pain deep in your heart and sob and sob;and a good night's sleep. Like I said nothing changed.I still am beginning to feel hopeless.My illness is getting worse,I can feel it. But thank God I didn't have a heart attack. Thank You God.