It's a big issue for me that I have spent hours upon hours of therapy talking about and grieving the fact that I'm not going to have kids. I truly believed that I would have been a great mom. Or as a doula friend told me after a difficult miscarriage, that I was a mom, am a mom and will always be a mom.....

But I echo what others say....that it's GREAT to be frank and upfront if you do NOT want children. Because so many people go through the motions that it's something they must do when it is certainly not for everyone.

I did want kids/ I didn't want kids. Depends on which journal you pick up, which page you turn to.

I was sure I wanted a kid with my ex. Positive. And we did.

Now I fucking despise her father more days than not, but her, meh, she can get on my nerves, she can drive me up the wall, but most all the ill-feelings I have as a result of her are because I'M being a shitty mom in the moment.

Definitely blessed with one of those awesome kids that takes direction and is sweet as cake. (For now.)

What I did not know would happen after having a kid - mad sympathy for those screaming kids and their parents. I always think, "Maybe they've got autism." Or "Maybe their mom took off and their dad works three jobs and just can't do it all today." I didn't realize that would happen.

But I can just as easily look back to pre-child days and remember how very little a non-parent knows (I do NOT mean for that to sound harsh or belittling.) It's like a degree you're working on for 18 years, you just keep learning and learning, and those who didn't have kids can have their stories about nephews and nieces but they'll never truly know. And it's sad sometimes. But it's not a bad thing. I made it sound bad :( It's not. It just is what it is.

I'm sure if I had waited long enough to really see my ex and his shit ways, I would've never in my life had a baby. I would've gotten my tubes tied. I still want to, need to... But something's holding me back.

I really hate having a mental illness, with a child, it is easier than ever to self-loath and feel like a failure. So. Fkn. Easy.

No matter what though - you're not wrong in feeling the way you do. You're not even selfish. If you were to be a bitch to your friends with kids or be really, really shitty to a kid, then I'd judge you. But even if you're short with kids and really just blunt and give them a reason to not approach you - I mean, honestly, yeah, they're kids, but they're humans and they've gotta learn sometime that not everyone's going to like them no matter how awesome they are.

I always wanted to be a Dad, but never had a serious relationship with a Woman! The only woman I ever dated was a former work colleague 8 Years older than me and I proposed to her at her workplace, being romantic, and she said she no longer had time for a relationship. Talk about mortifying.

We're still friends though. :)

I love kids and they love me even though I didn't have any. They are just little people, not aliens. When they scream or whine something is not right with them - just like when we scream or whine. Makes me want to hug and love them all the more.

Life would be pretty boring without their cute little pudgy faces to make me laugh and play.

How sad for you that you do not know the joy of tiny little arms hugging you and a snotty little face kissing you.

Yes, it is very sad that I don't know it. It's never been a part of my life with any children. And I don't even miss what you're describing either.

Thank you everybody for all the insight. This is one great post. Lot's of emotion and love.


Hugs to all.

It is a great post. Lot's of witty banter........