you should still be able to feel - the meds should take you to a point where you feel normal. Doctors sometimes over do it - or play safe with medications using the standard dose because they want to prevent mania.

Challenge your doctor to devise a regime that does not leave you devoid of feeling.

You are right - that would be ideal...seems tho that when I have ANY feelings, the bad outweigh the good, the crazy outweighs the fleeting normalcy, and all sorts of trouble ensues. I wish I could have feelings but that's a dangerous place to be for me. I'm kinda glad the meds make me numb, and I think my family is too. Not too bad of a place to be for this girl - making it through with false hopes of being "better" one day, lol. My dr has a tough job with me just keeping my head above water ;). I do wish I could live with feelings and not sink to mania or suicide, but reality says no - not for me.

I understand what you are saying. Over the years I have felt "numb" with my meds but my own doc said that isn't how it should feel to be stable. I feel stable now and I can feel emotion. It hasn't changed my wanting to isolate sometimes or my tendencies to experience some anxiety. I think stability is what we are "honestly" comfortable with in our every day living if you like how you feel and are okay with it as the option.

'devoid of feelings' sounds like a very high price to pay. meds with therapy, diet, exercise, reading, music etc should allow you to exist in a space where you can still feel. as curious said challenge your doc.

Well..... my Pdoc says my feeling "numb" , might be what "Normal" people feel all the time.

Having spent so many years in a hypo-manic episode, maybe numb is " normal " ?

To prevent mania, I guess that's the price I pay

I agree with discussing it with your doctor....If your meds are working tooooo well perhaps you can have the dosage cut back a bit....x

They change my meds because I was numb. Now feel alright. Now I have trembling of the hands. And I am quick to anger. Before the med change I was very docile.Being numb was okay with me.

Some people have an easier time finding a good med combo.

Something that allows some real " normal " times.
Maybe even stop episodes all together ?

I have worked over 11 years , {truly } tried every med and med combo available to date .

I do not tolerate Anti-depressants or Anti-psychotics.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer , but sometimes we have to accept , .... { Numb } is as good as it gets..... Quotes my Pdoc

I have looked over your questions several times.

"Are feelings that important to me that I would forgo my meds to feel something other than numb?"

"Or is my sanity that important to me that I'm ok with sacrificing my feelings for It?"

I don't believe giving up feelings is in any way sane. I have given up meds in the past for just that reason. I have been told by pdoc's that my feeling nothing was normal for me and that my blood work showed that my meds were at therapeutic levels. I've gone long periods of time without any meds for that reason.

Ultimately I have gone back on meds I am currently working with new pdoc who I've yet to gotten to know but I have another appointment coming up.and so far he seems to listen to his patients.

"Normal" people don't walk around feeling nothing, they feel happiness, joy, excitement, hope and love, they also feel hurt, pain, anger, and despair.


The Wolf

I think you need a better med combo hate to say it but it took me yes to find the right one.
All the best to you
Hugs

No!!!!

Don't say 'Not for me'!!!!
Say, 'Not for me .... yet'!!!!

It can be really depressing to try and try and try and never end up anywhere good, but I hope that you will keep trying!!!

Show your Pdoc what you have written here and stress that you value (the right kind of) 'feelings' over 'nothing' and want to keep trying until you reach that place!!!

Yeah. Sadly, it's true that some people can't hit that 'sweet spot', no matter what.
My heart goes out to them and I sure hope that you don't fall into that category.
But then some people finally find just the right meds -- but only after years and years of trying!!!

Trying can get crushingly tiresome, but I sure hope you don't give up!!!

Sending you good vibes that there IS a perfect cocktail out there for you and that you managed to find it!!!

Good luck!!!

(((((Hugs)))))

I have been trying for thirty years with only a little luck here and there with one long period in the middle of about 5/6 yrs ok but mostly two to three month periods of doing well and then back to the drawing board again for more mixing and matching and even trying old ones with new combos but I keep trying because in today's despair i remember how good it felt last august? i think, and i want to feel that again.

Feelings...part of being a human. You shouldn't have to choose Feelings over Comfortably Numb.
Talk to you pdoc, a change of meds might be in order.
We can't really "live" without feelings.