Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members

129,554 Posts

3 Online

cresteddad 09/06/2010

The past couple days Ive been on the verge. I dont know how im going to react to anything. I went out last night to a local bar to watch karaoke with my husband and my daughter and her husband. There were alot of people there and it was all I could do to just concentrate I felt like running out cring. I kept hearing everyones thoughts, I know i didnt really but at the time I felt I could and everyone was saying bad things to me i felt like every eye in the place was on me stareing. today I have been feeling every emotion at the same time. I have wanted to cry all day. But I was at my husbands family and couldnt let it show. I just wanted to run away I have got to get rid of the feeling of wanting to run away but sometimes its so strong it hurts not to listen to it.
My problem though that I am really writing about tonight about is I have been thinking of hurting myself again. I dont know how I want to do it but the feelings strong. It scares me when the feelings like this are with me. I worry about If Ill be strong enough to fight them off. My mind is a big jumbled mess and I have no one to talk to. My husband wants me to talk to him about stuff but im afraid Ill scare him away with all my stupidity. I have a counciling appt tomorrow but I dont know how Im going to feel before then. I just thought that if I posted these thoughts it would help me somehow.

deleted_user 09/06/2010

What you are feeling is not silly at all. Does your husband know anything is off? I am assuming, since he is the one you are closest too, you should talk to him about what is going on. Maybe, he can give you the insight and support you need right now, since when we are in these states we can't do it for ourselves.

Also, are you in a safe place right now, that is a place where someone can keep an eye out for you until you make your appointment tomorrow?

If in the night, you feel overwhelmed, maybe try calling one your local mental health crisis lines. I had to do that the other day, when I was going through a really bad patch.

If you still don't feel safe, then have someone take you to the hospital, so you can be taken care of.

Hugs

deleted_user 09/06/2010

If you aren't safe now, please tell your husband if he understands your illness or call the crisis line if you have none in your area. If that is not an option, please go to the ER and get evaluated. Please don't do harm to yourself, you have a problem that has a very healthy solution. You just need to get the help that you need. If you think you can make it until tomorrow. You might want to print out what you have written here and give it to your therapist so he/she knows what is going on if you get in there and can articulate what you are feeling. I hope you get the help you need soon.

deleted_user 09/06/2010

bump

RhyRhy 09/06/2010

I hope that your mind slows down and you are able to get a good nights sleep tonight and you wake up tomorrow feeling better! I know how much the racing negative thoughts and thinking everyone is talking bad about you can suck and I don't wish it on anyone! (((hugs)))

deleted_user 09/07/2010

bump

deleted_user 09/07/2010

Please get help and get somewhere safe. I just got home from the hospital from attempting suicide. Please get help!I know those feelings and it's exactly how I felt. Again please get help.

deleted_user 09/07/2010

You need to be able to talk to your husband. If he truely loves you he will want to help, not run. What if it were him going through this alone You would want him to share with you. If you don't think you can make it through the night without hurting yourself, you should go to the ER. If you can wait, talk to your councelor tomarrow.(((HUGS)))

ZanyBeeper 09/07/2010

Trust your husband. Mine is great to talk to. He listens and tells me he is sorry for what I am going through even though he doesn't understand. Hugs to you.

deleted_user 09/07/2010

i hope that today finds you feeling better

TwilightStar 09/07/2010

Sounds like you need to take a break.
That kind of stuff can happen and get really overwhelming especially I can relate to wanting to hurt oneself and being afraid.
I think it would help a lot if you could talk to your pdoc about everything you are experiencing. Meds can really do a lot to help. Counseling as well.

Love and peace to you
TS

deleted_user 09/07/2010

crested -- I hope that posting this did help you with your urges. I know sometimes it helps me. I think you should talk to your pdoc like TS said. I'm so sorry you are having a tough time and I REALLY hope that today finds you feeling a little better. **HUGS**

deleted_user 09/07/2010

I cant cure you but i can sure as hell offer my support. I totally get what your saying,your description of how you feel is identicle to my own feelings and thoughts so i understand everything you are saying. Say what you want i wont judge you infact you will probably find my mad thoughts are just as bad so we both in same boat.
Im here if you need to offload
Take care
Nicky

deleted_user 09/07/2010

Somehow I missed this yesterday. How are you now?

deleted_user 09/07/2010

hope you're better today. hugs xxxx

Join the Conversation