Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
There's a HUGE HUGE difference in the way attractive, "hmm, meh", and unattractive people are treated, even if it isn't intentionally exclusive.
This guy posted a couple photos of himself in our trans and genderfluid "support group" and got upwards of 50 comments, closer to 100.
And tons and tons and tons of comments of girls, boys, and all the in-betweeners absolutely DROOLING over him.
He didn't look exactly like a cismale and I think he's a transman, but like, has been one for a while and looks completely masculine,
His features were razor-sharp and he was chiseled and with lots of black tattoos, and I just want to ball up and shoot heroin and die.
I know this is an extreme overreaction, but my photos have never been..... that liked, CERTAINLY not by the queer community
Skinny andro-girls (some are ftm, some agender, some simply look that way) and FTM (female-to-male) members who are "convincing" (god that sounds so offensive) get the most attention by a very looooooooooooong shot.
I don't hate them for not paying attention to me. I hate myself for 1) wanting attention (but ONLY from the queer/genderfluid community, oddly, I'm pretty numb to most other forms of attention sadly), and 2) not earning it.
When I was anorexic I felt like I was earning the right to be beautiful.
I still feel that way, but I don't know what it will take. Ultra-thinness plus a nosejob plus jawline restructuring plus tattoos plus a very specific kind of hairstyle plus my ears pinned back so they don't stick out with half my head shaved
I feel like I'm unattractive or "hmm, meh" to girls! And queers! And queerbois! And FTMs!
And that I will be for a very long time because,
HOW AM I GONNA AFFORD ALL OF THESE BODILY MODIFICATIONS IN MY 20s?????? I assume other people do it because they can work a regular job so they have money, but I have disabilities.
I CRAVE perfection, and I haven't felt such strong and dire cravings since I was 95 pounds at 5"3' and starving myself, eating pears marinated in blackberry juice for breakfast and plain flour tortillas throughout the day if my stomach started cramping out of hunger, or if I felt weakness.
It hurts to know that perfection eludes me. It eludes and rejects me more than any person ever could. I don't know how to attain it. I need perfection to survive. I need validation to survive because of my disease (BPD), but indirectly- I need to know I'm getting it because I genuinely blow people away- because I worked hard to become extraordinary, and found loopholes to where I could do all this while still being disabled.
This guy posted a couple photos of himself in our trans and genderfluid "support group" and got upwards of 50 comments, closer to 100.
And tons and tons and tons of comments of girls, boys, and all the in-betweeners absolutely DROOLING over him.
He didn't look exactly like a cismale and I think he's a transman, but like, has been one for a while and looks completely masculine,
His features were razor-sharp and he was chiseled and with lots of black tattoos, and I just want to ball up and shoot heroin and die.
I know this is an extreme overreaction, but my photos have never been..... that liked, CERTAINLY not by the queer community
Skinny andro-girls (some are ftm, some agender, some simply look that way) and FTM (female-to-male) members who are "convincing" (god that sounds so offensive) get the most attention by a very looooooooooooong shot.
I don't hate them for not paying attention to me. I hate myself for 1) wanting attention (but ONLY from the queer/genderfluid community, oddly, I'm pretty numb to most other forms of attention sadly), and 2) not earning it.
When I was anorexic I felt like I was earning the right to be beautiful.
I still feel that way, but I don't know what it will take. Ultra-thinness plus a nosejob plus jawline restructuring plus tattoos plus a very specific kind of hairstyle plus my ears pinned back so they don't stick out with half my head shaved
I feel like I'm unattractive or "hmm, meh" to girls! And queers! And queerbois! And FTMs!
And that I will be for a very long time because,
HOW AM I GONNA AFFORD ALL OF THESE BODILY MODIFICATIONS IN MY 20s?????? I assume other people do it because they can work a regular job so they have money, but I have disabilities.
I CRAVE perfection, and I haven't felt such strong and dire cravings since I was 95 pounds at 5"3' and starving myself, eating pears marinated in blackberry juice for breakfast and plain flour tortillas throughout the day if my stomach started cramping out of hunger, or if I felt weakness.
It hurts to know that perfection eludes me. It eludes and rejects me more than any person ever could. I don't know how to attain it. I need perfection to survive. I need validation to survive because of my disease (BPD), but indirectly- I need to know I'm getting it because I genuinely blow people away- because I worked hard to become extraordinary, and found loopholes to where I could do all this while still being disabled.
-
Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
-
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
I think 'normal' folk have these kind of problems flare up in their lives from time to time. We may take things too far sometimes but the base problem is pretty common, universal even.
This is pretty unique, though. You're part of this group, where looks are a huge part of the psychology, and you're not getting something that you're not even comfortable wanting. Ai, sounds like a decent mind fuck...
in a way it's odd given that general morphology is obviously going to be a major issue for a number of members, as in they look male but feel female or vice versa that they would be apparently so shallow on this.
Time is a great leveller for physical beauty - we all end up looking like a raisen that we forgot in the cupboard.
Once you get to know them past that alluring beauty, it loses it's charm fairly quickly My ex-girlfriend is a proving point. She used her looks to reel them in (I'm Bi-sexual ) and ppl caught on pretty quick she was a manipulative cunt that you had to use crazy glue to keep her legs closed, which is one out of the many reason we broke up. She used beauty and her twat to forget how miserable she was. Shes absolutely LONELY and she's stunning looking.
It's all smoke and mirrors baby. It's like in the Wiz, you draw back that curtain and there's this little insecure troll, who's feet can't touch the floor when they're sitting down'
It's like on FB, ppl only show you the best part of their lives. Not the alcoholic father or their children's mugshots..
Don't believe the hype. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and a lot of "pretty"...bleh ppl absolutely hate who they are inside and out
You never know, there could be ppl on your social media who are crazy about you and too shy to show it
Open your eyes! Don't look down! Head up! Back straight! so the love of your life can see that darling face and sweet quirky you!
Big hug for you sweetie... I know you don't want it and have avoided therapy but I honestly think that's what will make a positive difference in your life
There's a lot of drama that troubles you a lot of the time sweetie and it would be overwhelming... Therapy can help you find the tools to help you find some calm in the storm....Big hug...xo