Feeling "pretty suicidal" is a huge cause for concern. I think it warrents a trip to the hospital or at least a call to your pdoc asap. Who knows what may trigger you to act on downing some pills and alcohol as you say you want to?

Hi. I'm so sorry you are where youare at now. You say you are suicidal, and want to take pills. Call someone you can trust and have them work you through this. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. It's another battle your fighting just keep winning the war.

I truly agree. If you have the actions for ending life imaged in your mind, please call pdoc or tdoc. That is what these people are here for, to help when things get this difficult.

We all do things we wish we hadn't. But the bipolar makes us feel the guilt and shame SO MUCH MORE than what other people would. And the BIPOLAR CAUSES THE INTENSE FEELINGS that causes us to do things that are inappropriate. ITS OK!! We make mistakes and its a bitch but these things pass. You will not feel later,, how you feel now. We love you.

I tried that last night but luckily my hubby kapt me from the bottle of Nyquil. He just doesn't understand rapid cycling and I'm also in physical pain. I did overdose but knew it wasn't enough to kill me. Sometimes this shit just really sucks ass. I have an appt tomorrow morning with a Rheumatologist about the chronic pain in my hip- like I needed some other shit to deal with. I feel your pain, but lets both ride this thing thru together, okay??
Jet

Me again. I'm sorry- I'm sure my last post didn't encourage you to get better. I just wanted you to know that you are certainly not alone in your pain. Peace to you sweetie. This too shall pass!
Jet

Dear Jet and Alliegator,

I like the idea of riding this one out together. I don't mean misery loves company, I mean sharing what helps.

Eating a big breakfast really helped me this morning. I listened to a Nine Inch Nails CD after breakfast and that DIDN'T help. The traditional Klezmer mixed with Gypsy music shook me into a better mood for a bit.

I read Alliegator's post because I want to die too. But I want to live more, I really want the pain to die.

"Problems have solutions", I tell myself. Reading the other posts and being reminded that this will pass helps. It does usually pass, sometimes sooner than later.

What is the best solution for you? Hospitalization? Riding it out until you see your doctor? Pampering yourself with the help of others? I'm asking myself these same questions.

I think I need a sugary coffee drink and some funky music, and I'll watch some funny stuff on hulu.com. Do you ever watch hulu.com? Its great, you can look up your favorite shows and watch them online. I suggest comedy. I've been looking up Demetri Martin on Youtube.com and he cheers me up.

Ooohh, I'm watching a PBS documentary called "Off the Charts", and I forgot I'm half way through. I can watch that today. I need to keep my mind occupied.

Sorry if this is a really self-centered post, but please know that your post helped me, (I'm looking for a silver lining).

Kind regards,
Sweet Somber

I think you are just looking at the partial view instead of the full view. You are feeling very low for sure and you mention all your friends but surly not all your friends because we are your friends too and we aren't thinking badly about or of you? You are feeling suicidal but you are on the internet soothing yourself with us and we are helping you and guiding you to do something more productive which is what you ultimately want and therefore you are not really as suicidal as you think you are because you are doing good things like taking your mental health seriously and not treating it like Russian Roulet. You are being productive and positive without even realizing it and so is Matt and so are some of the other people that are feeling low right now. That's taking the full picture into account not just the partial picture of the immediate pain. Have you eaten anything good for you today? Not just coke and empty calories? Have you eaten a meal, can you make yourself an omlet and a salad and treat your body with some respect? That would be a nice thing to do and you would feel better for the effort. I hope you are feeling better soon and I hope you call your pdoc tomorrow to talk about tweeking your meds. Good luck!

New day-New thoughts, I withdraw my desire to kill myself too. I'm not happy but I'm marching on with a smile on my face sometimes for my kids.

Always fight the desire because at some point you may change your mind.

T

Please don't do that, we have all been where you are. Call your doc ASAP. We care about you.
(((( hugs ))))

Well I didn't end up calling my pdoc or going to the hospital. I am feeling better though so I think I am okay.

Thank you so much for all of your support. It really helped me get through this.

Hey doll,

I downed a bunch of xanax Saturday night. Don't know how I survived but I did which means I wasn't meant to go. Please call on me if you need. I understand

I'm more stable but disappointed.

Honey, you should call someone to come over and be with you. Don't suffer in silence through this feeling. You are your own worst enemy. Please be careful and don't jeopardize your life. oxoxoxo