Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am feeling so off today. I have done nothing. I am exhausted. And feeling so anxious. Work is not going well because of the people I work with. They are AWFUL. the only thing saving me is that my boss likes me. The two chicks I work with in my department stress me out so bad. We had a potluck yesterday and I was talking to someone. I could FEEL the one coworker staring at me with the "omg you are stupid" look (I deal with this on a daily basis). I whipped my head towards her and she immediately looked away. So I KNOW this isn't just me being paranoid. And the girl training me is AWFUL. she talks to me like I am stupid. I am just not feeling the love. We are in the process of moving around and won't be in our permanent work stations until probably a week from Monday. I will have to wait and see how it is when we get into our permanent stations. There will be a fourth coworker moving back with us when we land. Maybe it will shift the dynamic. I have gotten to the point where I don't speak unless spoken to because when I DID try to talk I either get ignored or if I get a reaction, I get laughed at. I don't feel comfortable asking a question because the one chick who is training me acts like I am bothering her. Or treats me like I'm stupid.
I just feel very anxious. All I want to do is sleep. I am in a lot of physical pain, too. I can barely walk. I hate myself.
I just feel very anxious. All I want to do is sleep. I am in a lot of physical pain, too. I can barely walk. I hate myself.
She was lucky enough to get a new job. Only it turned out to be similar. No one had anything against her except her boss. She dealt with children, which wasn't a bother to her, but the parents...wow. The parents. Them and her boss got to her just as bad as the first job. She was also pissed off because no one else seemed to take the job seriously, and it was a serious job since she was working with children. Also, the other employees didn't care about the kids. I mean, one girl told my friend she was being sexually abused at home and had physical proof. My friend reported it to CPS and then to her boss. This is what is supposed to be done. Her boss got mad at her for reporting it to CPS because the situation "had been addressed a month ago" when it obviously wasn't because the girl's "peepee" still hurt.
Another job change. Or rather, a shift. It's still the same place but with a different group of kids and a different boss. Things are better for her now. It's just parents she has to deal with.
I've been fortunate enough to have never experienced that sort of emotional toll from a job. My most recent one (I'm disabled now) I was bar tending and it was a love/hate relationship. Just, drunk people. Some are funny and some are mean. Some tip well and some don't at all. But there was one employee I had problems with. She'd come in with this bad attitude and it'd just be this negative cloud around her the whole time. And she was fake as hell. Talked about her friends behind their backs. Flirted with the customers even after she got married. On and on. This. girl. sucked. I hated working with her so bad.
I guess I'll tell you what I told my friend. "That sucks." I mean, that's all I could say because there was no simple solution. And it sucked. Best thing I'd say you could do right now is to hold your tongue as best as you can and go behind your employer's back and look for another job? I mean if that's possible to get another job, and this isn't an "actual career" or something you went to school for that you can't find somewhere else. Because quite honestly, if it's taking this much of a toll on you both mentally and physically, then damn! It's not a job worth keeping!
I know that is no help at all, but I just feel for you. You sound like my friend did with her first job. :\ If you can find a way out, take it without a second thought. You can do it!