Here we go again. The job that I JUST started three weeks ago may be canning me. I was told that there would be a discussion about my "failure to catch on quick enough" tomorrow. I am pretty sure that I am going to be shown the door...AGAIN. this happened to me last June at another job. I was given five weeks then fired because I couldn't "get it". I have experienced NOTHING BUT FAILURE FOR THE LAST YEAR OF MY LIFE. and as if I am not already "ashamed" enough, I have my mother saying "it's like you don't want anything to work out for you" and my father saying similar things. I hate them all. I really think something is wrong with me. I held the same job for almost 13 YEARS!!!! I now believe that it was because it was something I could do in my sleep. There was nothing challenging. Since I emerged back into the workforce after my layoff a year ago, I do take longer to catch onto things. Now I can't remember stuff. I have a hard time reading even magazines. I bring home library books that sit because I can't concentrate long enough to read. Idk wth I am going to do if they let me go tomorrow. I feel desperate and numb. I have a horrible cold on top of it all and I feel like crap.

I am ready to die. I serve no purpose. I am of no use to anyone or anything.