Bipolar Disorder Support Group

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Thanksgiving...

TC40
TC40
So....I have three choices:

1. Go to aunt & uncle's house where I was invited. They live kinda far away and I am trying to be careful about my gas usage because I am, well, broke.

2. Go to my mother and her husband's house where I will be treated extremely rudely. I live 5 miles from them. The last time I was there, I was cussed out and I ended up leaving. My mother calls me at least one time a week to tell me that I am a loser and how everything is my fault and that I want to do is fight. On and on...she is evil.

3. Stay home by myself. I can my Aunt AND my mother that my gallbladder is under attack. Hopefully it WON'T be. But it will be an excuse to not have to do anything. I can make a little
Dinner for myself. I don't want to be alone, but it might the best option for me.

I am so depressed that I can't function. I feel so bad about myself. I am NOT looking forward to the holidays. All I want is a job that will allow me to pay my bills.
BabyShelby
BabyShelby
Pick Door #1 TC40!! You stated that your finances are tight but gas is relatively cheap right now. Don't be bashful about explaining to your aunt that it would mean so much to you to join them on Thanksgiving as you don't want to be alone and she might be able to assist with a little gas money.
JennS
JennS
Shelby is right. Your aunt might help with gas money. If we're me, I would offer to do something for some money like clean up and wash the dishes after dinner. I know it isn't a lot of fun but she might more willing to help. Maybe you could ask your aunt if someone could pick you up and take you home.

May your Thanksgiving turn out nice. Big hugs.
TC40
TC40
I got my answer about #2. My "Mother" just called me. She asked me what I was going to do. I told her I needed to ask one of my cousins about picking me up on their way down. Then I asked her when she was putting her Christmas tree up. THAT turned into an argument because she tells me that her husband put it up LAST WEEK. SHE KNOWS that I like to help put up her tree because I am single and don't have a tree. She tells me "she was goi g to ask me to help but I was hurting that day because of my arthritis". She is right. It was a hard day. But as shitty as she treats me, I still would've liked to help. That turned into her getting all upset about how "she never gets anything right". And her husband is in the background telling her it is time to hang up on me...
JennS
JennS
Wow, it's like she goes out of her way to be mean. She's your Grinch. Having one of your cousins pick you up on the way is an excellent idea.


More hugs.
spacekat
spacekat
Please don't spend thanksgiving with option #2 - your mother seems like she goes out of her way to be mean to you! That's simply unacceptable! How about option #1? Jenn has a good idea - ask her if you could help out in exchange for gas money - that would be the Least toxic option! I hope you have a good, healthy thanksgiving without having to worry about someone biting your head off for no reason!! Big hugs!!
dobiedots
dobiedots
No no no. Option 2 is out, why would you put yourself through that misery?
Find a way to your Aunts. It could be a good time.
PaganSpirit
PaganSpirit
If you don't want to be alone for the holiday I would choose option #1. I know gas is a concern but if you can afford it the possible reward of a good time spent with people that actually want you there is worth it. Spending it at home by yourself doesn't have to be as lonely as you may think. I am referring to making some calls to the family you do get along with just to say happy holiday. Also, there will be people on here that may want to talk. I work on thanksgiving and then I decided to go to my parents but when I get home around 6 or 7pm I will sign on to see who's around. We support each other every other day so why not on the holiday. Just my thoughts. Take care.
BabyShelby
BabyShelby
Mothers can be so trying. {{Big hug}} I hope you start a new tradition this year with a tree of your own! Even a teeny one will brighten your place and you can have all kinds of fun finding things around the house or making things to put on it.

Don't forget to take your Tupperware to your aunt's Thanksgiving (if that is acceptable in your family.) Leftovers!!!
TC40
TC40
I think I will opt for option 4 and just stay in bed all say and cry
TC40
TC40
And then she calls me up and asks me what I want for Christmas. I feel like I'm going to lose my mond
bbipolar
bbipolar
I think option (Aunt) is the best. Don't go near your mother she is toxic. If she wants to get you a present for Christmas ask for money or a gift card.
I sympathize with you. My mother is toxic too. The longer that I stay away from her the less grief I have. Good luck!
Do what is best for you! Crying all day is not a good suggestion. I wish you a happy holiday at your Aunts house! Big hugs!
mugwort
mugwort
TC 40I think your best option is #1. Its not the least bad of the three. Its quite good, Its got a lot of merit. Most important you'll be with relatives who treat you well. No idea what gas prices are like where you are. Could you look for cheaper costs filling up your car.
Your mother sounds like my mother. I can and do relate. Hope its a Happy Thanksgiving for you.
theatrediva
theatrediva
# 1 is the #1 answer my friend!! You were invited to a nice dinner with family who doesnt treat you like a piece of shit. I know you dont have much money for gas because you are looking for work. But in my opinion in order to find a new job you have to be in a good mind set and spending the holiday with family that you like spending time with and care about you will be good for you and you deserve it.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I'm always alone now on holidays... I could go out with friends so it's my choice and if you don't want to go out it's not a bad way to spend the day... There's no reason for you to stay in bed and cry

I always treat myself to a new book and have something simple to warm or have ordered in the day before and have yummy leftovers... Being alone doesn't equal being depressed TC... Big hug ....xo
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